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"Enough," I barked, not wanting my clean kitchen ruined by a Nemitz family brawl. Ivan and Zander's brotherly teasing went a bit far for my tastes. While they wouldn't physically harm each other, neither was above rough-housing. Usually, I liked watching them banter, even if it reminded me of what I'd lost. But tonight, I had other problems, and letting things get derailed with brotherly feuding wasn't on my list.
Ivan sat innocently, hands folded on the table. "Yes, Principal."
"I need help," I said grudgingly, taking a swig of my beer. "What are you doing for your auction packages?"
Zander groaned, letting his head drop to the table. "Don't remind me," he moaned into the wood.
Davis's eyes narrowed. "What auction?"
Cole chuckled. "Davis, youhavebeen living under a rock. We're all signed up for the bachelor auction in a couple of weeks."
"No, I'm not," Davis said, his tone brooking no argument.
I didn't want to touch that claim. It sounded like Jo was going to have a lot of explaining to do, if she'd signed him up without his knowledge. Unless she was planning on going on the date too, she was going to have her hands full convincing him to cooperate.
"What are you doing?" I asked Ivan.
"Brady, I'm a married man, so it doesn't much matter. Izzy isn't going to be outbid."
His shit-eating grin made me want to ensure she had some competition, just for the sake of principle, but I let it go.
"So you're going to disappoint your wife with a lame-ass date?" I challenged.
"Oh. Shit."
Watching the dawning horror in Ivan's expression was a small salve to my sense of justice.
"Cole, what are you doing?" I asked.
"Easy," he said. "A tour of the winery with a private tasting."
"I hate you," I muttered. Simple and elegant. The bastard had it made, thanks to his work. Somehow, I doubted that a tour of the high school, with a visit to the principal's office and lunch in the school cafeteria would hold the same allure. But the idea of Eve, alone with me in my office… that had possibilities.
"I think I'm going to offer a day of 'honey-do' handyman services," Zander said.
"Cheater. That's just another day at work for you," I grumbled.
"Exactly," Zander said, frowning. "But I figured it was safest. Gwen is sure to be gunning for me."
"And you wouldn't want to have arealdate with Gwen," Ivan admonished with faux solicitousness. "That would be, wellawful."
Zander waved a hand. "If Gwen were actually betting on me, I might change my approach, but I'm pretty sure she's going to donate her money to Kimee Thuy just to mess with me."
"Oh," I said.
Cole winced, and Davis just shook his head. Kimee baked amazing scones. But she also talked a mile a minute to anyone who would listen and flirted mercilessly. It was impossible to get a word in edge-wise, which could be ideal for a charity auction date, but her husband was also the jealous type and she seemed to get off on his possessiveness. No one wanted to piss off the only man with a private snowplow attachment for his truck. It was better to stay on his good side by avoiding any possibility of appearing to fool around with his wife.
"Davis, what about you?"
"Not. Gonna. Happen."
Davis was obstinate, but if Jo really wanted him to join the auction, he was toast.
"So, I heard a winery date, a handy-man-athon, a married date, and a no thank you. Since none of those are gonna work for me, any ideas?"
"Did Eve give you any suggestions?" Cole asked.
I shook my head. "Not one I want to use. She suggested his and hers tattoos."
