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I want Billie back. And what I want, I always get.
23
BILLIE
November - PatrickReza
I rub my hands together and blow on them while waiting for Xi’s car to show up in the parking lot. I’m in front of the diner I now work at. I changed back into my jeans and a black hoodie, but I still smell of frying oil. It’s okay, I usually take a shower at Xi’s anyway.
I’ve not slept at my house much lately. Despite turning him down, Xi’s been here as my friend and stepbrother. He has been my lifeline since my dream was crushed. He takes me to work every morning and back every night, so I don’t have to spend any money on gas. He lets me stay at his place and keeps my mind busy. He never mentions the growing war between NSC and the Kings because he knows I don’t want to hear about anything that will remind me of Caden. He’s also been trying to get me back into the gym, but I’m not ready. He takes my phone when Dickie calls and updates my coach on my state of mind. Often, it’s not a good state. But he's here to hug me and soothe the nightmare away.
Dad was fuming when I told him I was dropping out of community college, but I couldn’t do it anymore. My brain will never take me out of the North Shore, and I don’t want to waste my time trying. The only thing that was going to help was MMA, and that’s over now.
So, I took a job as a waitress in Silver Falls. It’s at the diner just before the bridge that separates the south bank from the North Shore.
I grab my phone from the jacket I’m wearing on top of my hoodie and look for Xi’s number with my fingers trembling from the cold. They feel numb and I can barely move them.
What the hell is he doing? His last text said he was on his way. I call, only he doesn’t pick up.
I read his text again, and an ominous feeling wraps like a heavy cloak around me. My heart accelerates, and I text my sister, asking her if she knows where Xi is. She texts back quickly, telling me she hasn’t seen him today.
Maybe Lik and Sam needed him and asked him to hide a body or something. I call my other stepbrother, who picks up on the first ring. He goes to talk about something, but I cut him off. Once Lik starts talking, he’s unstoppable, and it’s better to stop him from the beginning.
“Is Xi with you?” I ask.
“Last time I spoke to him, he was leaving his house to come pick you up,” he answers me casually.
“He never showed up,” I say knowing for sure something is wrong.
“Did you try calling him?”
“Of course I did. I’m not an idiot,” I snap.
“Are you at the diner?” His voice is more worried now, it’s lost the casualness he always has.
“Yes.” I lick my lips and let out a short breath that steams around me before adding, “What…what if something happened to him?”
“I’ll come pick you up. Don’t worry, he wouldn’t let anyone hurt him. You know he’s a tough little shit.”
Except I hear the slight trembling in his usually honeyed voice.
He’s here less than half an hour later. My body is numb from the freezing air, yet I’m not feeling the cold. I’m too worried about Xi to even notice I’m shaking.
“You should have waited inside,” Lik says as I get in the car. He’s taken Sam’s. The white Range Rover everyone on the North Shore recognizes as his boyfriend’s car.
The hot air blowing in the car doesn’t relax me in the slightest. “Have you had any news from him?” I ask. The anxiety quietens my voice.
Lik shakes his head, and we look at each other for a beat before he drives us to my dad’s house.
He’s clearly already mentioned it to Emma, because she's on me as soon as we get inside the house.
“What’s the exact last thing he texted you?” she asks as I take my coat off.
“He just said he was on his way to pick me up. That he’d be there in five.”
“It’s been more than an hour,” Lik adds.
Emma rakes her pink pointy nails through bleached blonde hair, pulling slightly at the extensions that run all the way to the small of her back.
