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“Where the fuck wereyou?” he says in a dangerously low voice. Ethan isn’t the kind to get fired up like Elliot or me. He’s the one who calms us down. He’s the kind who kills people silently. “Cause I went off looking for you as soon as it started. You weren’t answering your phone. You weren’t at your house. I called your fucking sister, Cade. I even checked Billie’s house and her gym. You were nowhere to be found. So, tell me. Where were you while we were trying to save your girl from Sawyer?”
I can’t reply, frozen by the reality of everything. I let men and women rape me last night to give Billie the chance to escape this hell hole.
And even that wasn’t enough.
I gave the money to that bitch so she would give Billie her spot in the tournament. In the end, I wasn’t there when it mattered the most. Who knows if she’ll ever be able to fight again after what happened. Who knows if she still wants to live?
Idon’t know.
I might not ever know if she doesn’t speak to me again. She doesn’t want me anymore. She doesn’t want anything to do with me.
I understand the reason.
But I can’t accept it.
“Brother,” Elliot says softly as he puts a hand on my shoulder. “Where were you?”
How long was I out? Lost in my thoughts? Pressure is building behind my eyes and a headache strengthening in my skull. I’m exhausted, everything is too heavy. My throat is tight, and I’m choking on my own thoughts.
My legs give out on me, and I fall back. Thankfully I had paced until the sofa was behind me again, so it ends up catching me.
“Cade,” Ethan says as he slides nearer to me. “You can tell us anything. We’ve got your back.”
My head falls back, and I look at the ceiling. I failed Billie. My entire world is falling apart. Now is the time to open up to my best friends, my brothers. Now is the time to tell them the truth about what I’ve been doing in Stoneview for the last few months.
So I do.
It’s the most liberating thing I’ve ever done. To tell them what the tutoring indeed was. To tell them how I got Billie back into the boxing competition. That I would do anything for her, including losing control over my body for one night.
A silence overcomes us all when I’m done.
“That’s where I was,” I conclude. Tears are shining in Elliot’s eyes even though he’s not crying. Ethan wrapped an arm around my shoulders at some point, and I let him hold me close.
“Fuck,” Elliot whispers.
“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” Ethan says steadily, keeping strong for all of us. “You did the right thing.”
I look at him. “How? I fucked it all up. It was all for nothing.”
“Don’t blame yourself for the greed of others. Whether it be the Stoneview billionaires or Sawyer. This was out of your control, and we will fix it, Cade. All together. I promise you.”
I nod, wiping my sweaty forehead. “Sawyer is going to die. Slowly and painfully.Today.” I get up and sway slightly.
“Sawyer is gonna die slowly and painfully,” Elliot confirms. “After you’ve rested. What you did last night…it’s heavy, Cade. Billie’s stuff has taken a toll on you too. You might be strong, but you need rest. Put all the chances on your side.”
I turn to Ethan, and he nods. “Have one of our rooms. Sawyer isn’t going anywhere, and we’ll be here when you wake up.”
35
BILLIE
The Raging Sea-Broadside
“The strongest fucking girl!” Xi shouts as I hit the bag again. “Come on, Bil’s!”
Even though Dickie hates having him at the gym, his words give me strength, and I accelerate my punches as the ten seconds bell rings out.
“Come on, come on! Quicker, kiddo!” Dickie shouts over Xi.
