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And yet what I remember the most is the way my heart jumped when he leaned in, smelling of alcohol and cigarettes, and his soft lips kissed my forehead.
I’ve seen some serious toxic shit on the North Shore…but never have I seen a girl falling for a guy who degraded her the way Caden has done to me.
So why, God, explain to me why, when his text appears on my screen, I lay on my front as my feet bounce on the bed, resting on my elbows and staring at my screen.
Caden: I heard someone fucked a few of my girls up.
Billie: What? Some hot girl?
I bite my thumb as the dots appear and disappear.
Caden: I didn’t send it for that part of the sentence. Rather the other half of it.
Going to my music app, I return to that moment in the song and my thighs tighten.
Caden: Did you find it?
I gulp and text back.
Billie: Yes.
Caden: Tell me. What is it?
I don’t know why I type it. Probably because I can feel my thighs trembling and my panties getting wet. So I keep chasing the feeling.
Or probably because I’m a masochistic idiot.
Billie: She needs an attitude adjustment.
Caden: Tell me, Billie. How am I going to adjust that attitude of yours?
Billie: I don’t know…
Caden: Should I come around? Should I fuck you so hard your tight pussy will remember me for days?
My hands are shaking when I answer.
Billie: Everyone is home. You can’t show up.
Caden: No?
Caden: Okay.
Caden: Touch your pussy, then.
My eyes widen, and I drop the phone on the mattress. He can’t be serious?
When I don’t reply for two whole minutes, he texts me again.
Caden: Put two fingers against your little clit. Right now.
Brain frozen, heart exploding, and stomach tightening, I twist and roll onto my back. I pull up my oversized t-shirt to my hips and slide my hand into my panties. I press two fingers against my clit and grab my phone again. There’s another text.
Caden: Start touching yourself. Go slow until I tell you otherwise.
Slowly, I draw a long circle, pressing my fingers to my clit. I keep going until I moan softly and my chest rises and falls quicker.
Caden: Make yourself feel good. Imagine it’s my fingers on you. Imagine I’m kissing your neck and sucking your pretty pink nipples. Feel the way they’d become so hard in my mouth as my teeth graze against them.
