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A certain disappointment washes over me. One that I try to not think about too much.
His eyes narrow as if trying to see me better. We’re in the dark and are only illuminated by the lamp post outside.
“Is your face okay?” The worry in his voice is evident, but the obsession is prominent.
I put my finger to my cheek and then my lips. Of course, his bitches did manage to hit me earlier. “It’s fine. It doesn’t really hurt. I’m more worried about my finger.”
I don’t know why I’m saying that. The truth, I mean. Caden is Kings crew. He’s a bully, and he harasses me. Yet, tonight, I want to open up and tell him what the consequences of today truly were for me.
Maybe because we’re in the dark. In the softness of the night, reality doesn’t exist. When the moon shines and the monsters come out, I’m allowed to give in to them.
“What’s wrong with it?” He grabs both my hands then drops the left one. He looks closer at the index finger on my right hand. It’s still swollen.
“I don’t know.” My voice is barely above a whisper. “Probably strained it or something. It’s not broken, at least. But I couldn’t train tonight, and my coach was furious about what I did. He’s…he’s really helping me out, and I disappointed him.”
I swallow the pain at the back of my throat from the anxiety of what Dickie told me earlier. Caden is looking closely at my finger, and it’s easier to talk when the intensity of his gaze isn’t on me. “If I can’t win my next match, then I won’t move on to the fight against Killer Clover, and…it’s the end for me.”
“It’s not the end. I know you want to go pro, but there will be other fights,”he says reassuringly.
He doesn’t look up as I pause, taking his words in. “How do you know I want to go pro?”
“We live on the North Shore, little Scott,” he smiles as he keeps observing my finger, “everyone knows everything about everyone else. It honestly isn’t the end of the world if you don’t fight Clover.”
“Yeah, but my new agent will drop me, and I’ll…I’ll never get out of here.”
His eyes flick up as he straightens. “Get out of here?” he sniggers. “To go where?”
I don’t like the way I feel like he’s mocking me.
“Anywhere,” I retort. “Just not here. I want to be…there.”
“There?” His lips curl into a smile, and I get frustrated.
“Just drop it, okay? Maybe you love the North Shore because your crew has authority over everything. Because you’re a King. Because you can fuck around and not care about anything or anyone. But I hate it here. I’ve hated it my entire life and I want to leave.”
I let myself fall back onto my bed, sitting in front of Caden. Why am I telling him this? I’m making myself vulnerable, allowing him to get to me and ruin me further than he already has.
At the same time, I keep wanting him to know. There’s a part of my mind that keeps thinking if he sees how vulnerable I really am, he’ll be nicer. What a joke.
He crouches between my legs and grabs my hand again.
“Someone’s set on leaving,” he says. “Here. Have a magic kiss. You’ll be all healed for your fight and your plan to escape the North Shore won’t go to waste.” He drops a kiss on my swollen finger and I giggle like a fourteen-year-old.
I bite my lower lip as we both look at each other with wide eyes.
Then he throws his head back and laughs. I’d never heard such a genuine laugh from him. His Adam’s apple is bobbing up and down and I want to bite his neck.
“Oh, I want to hear that again,” he says as he brings his head back. He kisses my finger again, and I do my best not to react. To ignore the butterflies flaring up in my stomach and creating a tornado of feelings in my chest.
He pushes me backward, and I fall onto my bed, my legs bent at the knees and my feet still touching the floor. His mouth kisses my palm then my forearm. He makes his way up, his body moving until he’s above me. It’s slow and delicious. Kissing my shoulder and then my neck…my jaw…the corner of my lips.
“I want to leave this hellhole, too,” he murmurs against my lips. “I would give anything to have been born somewhere else. I don’t care where.There.”
There’s a brief pause, my mouth agape at the revelation. His gaze goes from my eyes to my lips and he captures my mouth with his.
I practically gasp from the pleasure and perfect release I feel. He licks my lips and I open my mouth for him. His tongue comes to stroke mine and my heart explodes in my chest.
What am I doing?
