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Nolan giving me a bottle of Gatorade and an Angel of Death covered in blood.
That is all I remember from last night.
I wake up with a sticky sickness seizing my body from the inside out. I feel like I’m on a boat, and the nausea only worsens when I try to move and can’t.
Arms are wrapped around my body. A soft voice comes to my ears and makes my pounding headache heighten.
I groan, trying to escape the hold the arms have on me, and a panic overcomes me.
Is it Nolan?
“Let me go,” I pant with difficulty.
“Calm down, little bee. It’s me.”
The arms let go, and I sit up, so dizzy I feel like I’m falling backward despite my back being against the wall.
“Caden?” I rasp.
“How are you feeling?” he asks as he sits up. I can’t answer because his state shocks me into silence.
“Your clothes,” I say, pointing a trembling finger at his chest, covered with blood. I can’t control it; my entire body is aching and shaking.
He looks down at himself and back up. “He won’t touch you ever again.”
My stomach rolls, and I put a hand in front of my mouth, feeling the sickness coming. He immediately gets the message and grabs my other hand before dragging me to the bathroom. The second we’re in, I fall to my knees and throw up in the toilet.
Everything is spinning. Still, I quickly put two and two together. The Gatorade. The memory loss. Caden covered in blood.
How far did Nolan go?
As soon as I can, I lean back against the wall, and Caden gives me tissues. I’m suddenly hyper-aware of the way my body is feeling. My breasts are sore, and my lower stomach is tight. The tightness is probably from fear and sickness. I don’t hurt down there. Not at all. I could barely walk after Caden paid me a visit and I was fully into it. Whereas right now, it feels…normal.
I’m not entirely reassured. He obviously touched me without my consent in other places, and who knows if I can trust my own body right now. I can’t even trust my mind and memories.
I look up at Caden. His apologetic eyes bring dread to my chest.
“Am I okay?” I whisper in a complete panic.
He squats in front of me and puts strands of my messy hair behind my ears. He wipes my sweaty forehead with his hand and kisses it. “You will be,” he answers with his lips against my skin.
It shouldn’t help, except it does. My heartbeat slows and the trembling calms. Then reality hits me all at once.
“My fight!” I gasp. I push Caden away and stand up. I have to put a hand on the wall to not fall back down. The room is still spinning, and my stomach threatens to puke up again.
“Billie, you can’t fight,” Caden says calmly, following me into a standing position.
“What time is it? I just need to shower, and I’ll feel better.” My heart is kicking against my chest. I cannot miss that fight. It’s my only chance. It’s everything. I turn on the shower, but he grabs my arm and turns it off.
“I didn’t shower you last night because it’s not advised when someone is assaulted. You need to go to the hospital and get checked.” There is no hesitation in his sharp tone. He doesn’t shy away from what happens. All he cares about is my safety.
I bark a sarcastic laugh and pull at my arm. “We live on the North Shore. Have you forgotten what it means? Even if I go to the hospital and bring them hard proof. Even if Nolan goes to them and admits he did me wrong in front of their faces, they’ll put it on the gang-on-gang crime and push it to the side.”
He lets go of my arm and bites his fist, clearly trying to keep calm under the circumstances. He brings his hand down by his side when he looks like he won’t explode anymore.
“That’s not why I want you to go to the hospital. Nolan already received justice.” My eyes dart down to his bloody clothes as he says the words. “I want them to check that you’re okay and if he dared violate you.”
I rip the t-shirt off me. “Hedid, Caden.” My sore nipples are proof of that, and as I look down, I feel like I’m going to throw up again. There are bite marks around them.
