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“You just didn’t listen,” he repeats. “Because you’re scared.”
“That’s not true,” I argue back like a petulant child.
Roads around us turn into gravel, and gravel into forest soil as trees surround us. Are we on the North Shore already? When did we cross the bridge? I was too focused on his gorgeous face and how he described the many ways in which he loves me.
“You didn’t hear me because you’re scared of someone loving you unconditionally. You didn’t want to see it because, for the first time in your fucking life, someone is ready to do anything for you. And you’ve never known how that feels.”
He stops the car abruptly. Nothing around us but the darkness of the forest and thick trees attempting to hide the moonlight.
“You didn’t listen because you can’t take it. You can’t takeme.”
He exits the truck, slamming the door. I follow, running after him as he opens the tailgate and drags out Duncan. Tears are running down my cheeks. I’m distressed and awoken by the fact that he’s right.
No one has ever loved me the way Xi does. My mother was always too busy to raise me. Her gallery, charity balls, and media apparitions were too important, rather than taking care of me. Nannies could do the job. My dad never loved me. He’s too obsessed with how I make my family look. All he’s ever taught me is to shut up and listen. That not being perfect is a mistake and mistakes should always be fixed. I’ve grown up to be a woman incapable of love. I’ve grown up into an object he could use for his reputation.
“I can take you,” I sob. “You’re the one who couldn’t choose between the North Shore and me. You decided taking over the Kings was more important than telling me the truth.”
“I made my choice,” he growls as he pushes Duncan to the ground. “I choose you.”
My eyes widen. Duncan is begging and wailing on the forest floor, but neither of us is looking at him. Xi has a foot on his chest, pressing with all his weight, stopping him from going anywhere.
“The question is can you handle it? Can you handle being my only obsession, Alex? It’s just you and me, baby. I will be there every day. I will make sure you’re okay. I will fucking love you with all I have. I will kill the men who hurt you.”
I shake my head, tears running as I glance at Duncan.
Xi grabs something at the back of his jeans, and I retreat when he pulls out a gun.
“Xi,” I whimper, taking another step back, my eyes on the weapon.
“Look at me,” he growls. I gaze up at him.
“This is all of me,” he spreads his arms. “I’m a crook. I’m a violent murderer. I amnota good man. I already am all those things, but I don’t have to be NSC if that’s what you want. I’ll leave for you. Fuck, Alex, you don’t understand. I will burn cities to the ground if it means it’s justyou and me.”
For the second time tonight, my heart threatens to leap out of my chest. It’s trying to reach Xi’s.
“So answer me. Can. You. Take. It?”
I nod. That’s all I give him.
He aims the weapon at Duncan and brings a finger to his lips. “Don’t scream,” he says calmly.
Bang!
He said not to scream, so a loud gasp leaves me, showing my body subconsciously listened. Everything comes together as I squeeze my eyes. I only open them again because I feel Xi’s presence right in front of me. He brings his hand not holding the gun to my face, cupping the back of my head and forcing me to look up at him. “Just you and me,” he murmurs. “Say it.”
I’m enthralled. There’s something about everything he’s done tonight that seems to have put me in a trance.
After so many years of looking for it, I can’t believe I finally understand the love I need.
The crazy kind.
The toxic kind that poisons your veins and makes you feel like your thoughts don’t belong to you anymore.
The love that drives you insane in the most satisfying way possible.
“It’s just you and me,” I rasp.
“Good girl.” His gravelly voice has barely reached my ears when his lips crash on mine.
