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“You never wanted me, did you?”
“Your father is a master manipulator,” she admits. “The moment he saw my love fading, he was always on me. And suddenly, you were here.”
I lay back, looking at the ceiling of the car. Tears fall down my face for something I’ve known all my life.
“Alexandra,” my mom says as she puts her hand in mine. “I love you.”
I drag in a shaky breath but refuse to turn to her when I hear her voice wavering. “I was not a good mother to you. I never wanted to be a mother at all, but this doesn’t change the fact that I love you with all my heart. I don’t expect you to forgive me for not seeing what was right under my nose, and even less for the hurt I’ve caused by not caring for you like a mother should. But I don’t need your forgiveness to start fixing the pain I’ve caused.”
I sniffle, a relief coming over me. All I’ve ever wanted was for her to see me. For one of my parents to tell me they love me. I’m not ready to create a bond with her, but I will take what she has to offer.
I turn to her and nod. She smiles through the tears on her face, and I tell her something I’ve never told her before.
“Mom…” I feel my chin trembling, the realization of what I’ve done catching up with me. “I’m scared,” I force past the tightness in my throat.
“Oh, baby,” she sobs. “Mommy’s here.”
I lay down in the car, my head on her lap and hand in my hair.
“I love you, Alex,” she sniffles. “I’m sorry.”
For the first time in my life, I feel safe in my mother’s arms. The adrenaline crashes, and I’m asleep before we reach our destination.
35
ALEXANDRA
The Night We Met – Lord Huron
I watch a duck make its way from the lake shore to the water, five ducklings following behind. From my bedroom’s wooden balcony, I have a perfect view of the lake. We have a private deck that gives us access to the crystal-clear water. Nothing on the horizon but water and far, far away, the shadow of the cliffs I know belong to the North Shore.
It’s snowing today, a white coat decorating the beautiful surroundings. Evergreen branches are heavy with snow, and the ponds surrounding the lakes are frozen. Soon, the lake will freeze too, and our fellow billionaires and millionaires will come to ice skate on the thick ice.
“Miss Delacroix.” The deep voice startles me, stopping the flow of condensation coming from my mouth and into the cold air.
I turn around to find Vincent, my mother’s personal bodyguard, standing by the French doors leading to my bedroom. In the last two weeks, Vincent has been the only one allowed in our lake house.
Security surrounds it, worried that anything could happen to us now that my father is dead.
An accident. That’s what it’s been ruled as.
It seems my father fell asleep in his office with a cigar in his hand and the thing set the whole place on fire. Only my mother and I escaped, leaving abelovedSenator behind.
There was not enough left of his body to know he died of a bullet to the chest before Xi lit up the whole place.
He has many ways to make a body disappear, but fires burn when Ziad is angry. And God knows he was fuming at my dad for hurting me.
I haven’t seen him since. We’ve been captive in our own home while the reporters surround our property like vultures. While the coroner was working and deciding what had truly happened. The second it was ruled an accident, my mom had her assistant organize the funeral.
Two weeks. She gave her no more than that. She doesn’t want to give any more time or energy to a man she now loathes. The same assistant wrote a statement fromhis grieving familythat went out in the newspaper. Mom made no other appearances.
She’s too angry. Too busy trying to make it right by me. I have never seen my mother like this, so attentive and loving. It’s a speck of light in the darkness surrounding me.
“Miss Delacroix,” Vincent repeats. “It’s time to go.” I notice just now that he’s holding my oversized, blacked-out sunglasses. I need them to make sure everyone thinks I’m crying.
It’s strange how the little guilt I had turned into pride over the last few weeks. How I realized being free of my father was worth every nightmare I’ve had since. I’m certain his ghost will disappear because he can’t hurt me anymore.
I grab the glasses Vincent is handing me. Today, I chose my own clothes for a public appearance. That had never happened in my life. My dad had always done so, forbidding me to wear heavy makeup and look like a whore.
