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If you were mine, I couldn’t keep my hands off you, no matter what you said.
The words from my kidnapper have always stayed with me. It’s what I’ve always been ashamed of wanting. My dirty secret no one will ever know. It’s the same reason for which I came under my kidnapper’s hand.
I want someone to not leave me a choice.
Xi felt like that. His left hand holding my waist, his right beneath my shorts. His body blocking me while he described how he would degrade me.
Sighing, I nod and smile at Chester. “You’re the best.”
He parks in front of the liquor store on the south bank of Silver Falls and we both get out of the cars. He buys so much alcohol we spend around forty minutes putting it all in the car.
“My arms are dead,” I huff as I sit back down inside the car.
“You’re the best for helping me out. And thanks for the Hubba Bubba.” He puts half of the roll of bubblegum in his mouth. He puts a hand on my thigh and shakes it playfully. “You’re so much stronger than you let out.”
I dramatically bend my arm like a bodybuilder and flex my biceps. “Years of cheerleading and swimming, baby.”
He explodes in a laugh before wrapping a hand around my biceps. “Damn, girl.” He lets me go and runs a hand through his hair before giving me a sorry smile. “You were such a good cheerleader, Alex.” His mouth twists.
“No. Dude, we’re not going all ‘poor Alex’ right now.”
I can live a relatively normal life now, considering my forearm had been broken in two, and the rehab was long and painful. Although I can’t cheer or swim anymore, the sports are too hard on the arms. The doctor said I could slowly get back into it in a year, and compete again in two. But competitions don’t wait for the injured. The two athletics are pretty much over for me.
“I’m not. I promise.” He hesitates, then admits, “Okay, maybe I felt a bit sorry. I just feel bad that you had to quit because some bastard broke your arm and dislocated your shoulder. It’s not fucking fair.”
My heart beats a little faster when I recall my night on the North Shore. “Well, it wasn’t him. I broke my arm and dislocated my shoulder by throwing myself against a boarded window.” I shrug. “Survival mode makes you do stupid things.”
“It’s still his fault,” he says, his tone now frustrated. “I wish they had caught him. Him and all his friends. Then maybe we…” He shakes his head. “Never mind.”
My friends don’t knowexactlywhat happened. They know I was kidnapped, held for ransom, and that they tried to leave me in a burning house. That’s enough to justify my panic attacks to them. They don’t know what happened when I was in that house. No one does.
I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “We’re better as friends. We both know that.”
He licks his lips and gives me his best fake smile. I know him too well to know it’s not real. “Yeah.”
His phone ringing in the car cuts our conversation short. He presses the button on the car screen.
“Heyoooo,” a loud voice calls out. “What’s up, pledge?”
Chester rolls his eyes before answering. “I got all the alcohol like you asked. I’m going to make my way back now.”
“Good, good. Just one last thing. You’re gonna pick up the pills too. Our guy will meet you in the parking lot, so don’t leave yet. See you later.”
The call drops and Chester turns to me. “I can drive you to Xi Ep and come back.”
“Don’t be silly.” I mess up his silky hair that falls to his ears. “So, what are you guys doing tonight?”
“We’re hosting a huge party, and I’m sure there’ll be plenty of dares for the pledges. I think you girls will be coming over.”
“Are we? I wish I knew what Harper and Camila have in mind for us. It’s scary to be kept in the dark. I heard one of Harper’s friends talk about making the pledges run around the yard completely topless last year.”
“Fuck,” Chester huffs. “I wish I’d seen that.”
“Shut up,” I laugh as I slap his arm. “I just hope they don’t go full-on hazing. At least I have Peach and Ella with me.”
Chester’s phone pings, and he peers up at a car parking right in front of us. I follow his gaze and my heart drops when I see the black Ford Ranger.
Xi.
