Page 110 of Desire


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ISAAC

I’m grumpy today, annoyed, and jealous as hell. My bed is cold with only me in it and I woke up at four in the morning to a text from Grayson.

Can you bring me a change of clothes for Silla to my room when you’re up please? I didn’t plan last night very well.

Staring at my phone, I can’t even be mad. He’s not gloating, and is just asking for an assist. I have her clothes here, but damn do I miss her. The answering pain in my chest makes me rub it as if it’s a physical hurt.

Yeah, I’ll be there in a bit. She okay?

There’s no answer for a bit. So I flop back onto the pillows. I have been busy, but I also have a lot of shame about how I haven’t been around. Silla depends on me emotionally, and Andrya cornered me yesterday to yell at me. I deserved every word too.

“What’s your fucking deal?”she hisses, pushing me against the wall. Her chest is heaving, hazel eyes flashing. ‘Drya’s gorgeous when she’s unhinged, not that I’ll ever tell her that though.

“You’re going to have to give me more information than that,” I snark. This isn’t how I act around Silla, she gets the soft, controlled showers of attention. However, because I feel like a dick, I’ve decided to act like one as well.

“Silla looks crushed every time your name is mentioned. She won’t bring herself to ask about you because it hurts. So I’m going to ask again… what the fuck is going on with you?” Andrya growls.

“I fucked up.” I sigh. “I got so tied up in everyone else’s issues in an effort to distract myself that I didn’t check on her. You were with her, and seeing her in pain without being able to help, killed me. It’s too late now, right? What do I even say?”

“You say all of that, asshole,” Andrya fumes. “Silla is worth being uncomfortable for so you can figure out your shit. Gods, you know she thought I was avoiding her? I would rather her be happy with other people than hurt her again, until I realized it’s worse my way. I want to be there for her, even when there’s a shit load of testosterone surrounding her. People don’t stick around for her, Isaac. So we need to.”

She’s so worked up there are tears of frustration and anger in her eyes as she pulls at her blonde hair. The blue streak is as startling as it always is.

Deflating, I nod. “I figured she didn’t need me if she had you all. There’s only so much room in a girl’s heart, right? Except, Gray is being stupid too, I’ve heard him talking to himself as I pass his office. We’re all idiots.” I sigh.

“I’m already working on it with her, but I refuse to do the work for you,” she growls. I’m so glad I was walking through a side corridor when she accosted me. Otherwise FRC would be witnessing this epic dressing down.

One I apparently need.

“You’re right. I’ve been convincing myself that she doesn’t need an antisocial hacker,” I mutter.

Andrya throws her head back and laughs. The shift in mood makes my lip twitch, but she’s always been like this.

“Silla doesn’t need psychopath twins and a narcissist for lovers either,” she giggles. “We’re misfits that all gravitated to her. Sometimes you don’t get to choose what you need. But fuck if I’m not going to fight to keep her if she’ll have me.”

Blinking, I scowl as the words ring in my ears. Silla deserves someone who will fight for her in this fucked up life, and I want to be one of those people.

Sharing isn’t sneered at in Forbach, and there are a lot of people in this kingdom who are in relationships with more than one person. It’s why I didn’t mind it when I could see that Grayson was interested too.

The twins and Sidney are an interesting twist, but I’m not at all surprised there either when I allow myself to think about it.

Silla is beautiful, and there’s a fire in her when she lets herself shine. No hiding, all truth bombs and snark. I fucking love it. None of us can withstand the pull.

So I’m done fighting it. Fuck, I’m in so much trouble.

Looking back at my phone, I see that Gray still hasn’t answered. It’s possible he fell back asleep. Meh, I’m glad I have the keys to his room.

Pushing myself up to stand, I pull on a pair of joggers and a long-sleeved black shirt. I haven’t felt like wearing clothes much since I sleep alone now. Grimacing, I try not to think about how much I hate that. Pocketing my keys and phone, I grab Silla’s clothes to throw into a duffel bag.

It’s insanely early in the morning still, but I don’t want to chance running into someone who will ask why I have a woman’s Section B uniform.

Gods, what am I doing?

Leaning against the wall, I drop my head back against it. If I stay here any longer, I’m going to overthink this. I’m often up early to go to the gym or work in my office. The only reason I’m irritated is because Gray’s room has a bit more foot traffic later in the day.

Shoving my feet into my shoes, I decide I’ll be fine. I haven’t had coffee yet, and the only thing that will change my sour mood is a glimpse of my Little Hacker.

Moving to the door, I yank it open to see a completely empty hallway. I don’t know why I feel as if I’m going to suddenly find a ton of people between Grayson’s room and myself. It just feels as if every time I head to see Silla, someone or something is in the way.

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