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Shaking my head, I shrug. “If he did, I couldn’t focus long enough to pay attention. All of my energy was on the girl we sealed in the damn wall. Why did we think that was a good idea again?” I groan.
I’m impulsive, but Ayden and Sidney rarely attempt to redirect me. They’re as crazy as I am.
“I’ve never known anyone who is that scared of small spaces before,” Ayden admits. “The screams… Gods, the begging. I’m pretty sure Silla forgot where she was when she started screaming that she would be good. Fuck, I’m starting to feel more shitty about it as time goes on.”
“You feel bad for her, but not for making Michael pass out on my dick?” Sidney snorts, trying to make light of things, but the pacing he’s now doing says differently. “I’m just glad the Warden isn’t forcing us to make some kind of fucked up apology to the girl. My apologies never go well.”
Ayden rolls his eyes. “You mean that you can’t get the words out, or that you’re such an ass that you choke on them? Look, we’ll work out what we’ll work on with the girl later.”
I notice both of them won’t say her name unless they need to, and that they’re distancing themselves from Silla. My eyes study them carefully, so they won’t notice. Ayden and Sidney don’t usually disassociate from people like this.
“For the record, ‘work with Silla’ doesn’t mean giving her lessons on how to suck your cock,” I tease Sidney. His lips twitch, but his forehead is furrowed in worry.
I want to help him, but we’ve never crossed the line past fuck buddies and friends. I’m not someone who offers comfort, because he doesn’t accept it easily. To be honest, the three of us are pretty emotionally stunted.
“We aren’t going to solve this tonight, guys, so let’s head to bed. I’m exhausted.” I sigh.
The guys nod, and Ayden and I say goodnight.
“Hey, I’m going to see if I can find out what the girl was supposed to do with Isaac, Andrya,” my brother says, rubbing the back of his neck as it turns red. Interested, I raise my eyebrows. This is one of the only tells Ayden has. “It’s nothing… I feel as if I’ve gotten sloppy lately, and I don’t want anything else to bite us in the ass.”
“Alright, I’ll probably be asleep when you get back,” I yawn. “I just want to go to bed and try to forget today happened.”
Ayden gives me a weighted look before walking away, and I know neither of us will be forgetting any time soon. While no one gave me a second glance in the recruit dormitory bathroom, Ayden and I are lucky enough to have our own in the room.
Going inside, I strip off my clothing the second I walk into the bathroom, then turn on the shower and step inside. The water is so cold, it takes my breath away, and I refuse to make it warmer as I bathe. Call it self-flagellation, but I don’t deserve any kind of comfort right now.
Shivering as I finish washing my hair, I turn off the shower, and grab a towel to dry off with. Saying that I want to apologize or make things up to Silla implies that I was wrong. A long time ago, we all agreed that ever admitting to wrong-doing led to a slippery slope to becoming weak-willed people.
If you never admitted to being wrong, it was all less likely that you’d ever be found guilty. I hate the people who say they’re sorry all of the time, they make my skin crawl. So the only people I apologize to are my brother and Sidney, and even then I think it’s only happened once.
Rubbing my long blonde hair dry with the towel, I pull it into two long braids so it’ll be easy to style tomorrow. Standing wrapped in my towel, I wash my face and then brush my teeth, yawning so wide that I swear my jaw pops. Damn, I’m really fucking tired.
Staggering into the bedroom, I notice that Ayden still isn’t back. Maybe he decided to hook up with someone to get his anxiety out. It usually works for him, but I know that’s not what I need. Pulling out a long-sleeved shirt and underwear, I get dressed, throwing my towel into the hamper to deal with later.
Crawling into bed, I turn out the light, falling asleep quickly.
I’m running through a forest,and for one of the first times in my life, I’m prey and not the predator. Gasping, I weave in and out of the trees. The foliage is so thick, the sun is blocked out by them, making it even creepier.
It’s as if even the birds know there’s danger, because it’s dead silent. All I can hear is my out of control breaths, my chest heaving from the adrenaline coursing through my veins. Pushing my legs harder, I can hear someone chasing me.
“Please, please don’t,” I whisper, leaping over a fallen log that comes out of nowhere. My attention is split in two, and that’s how mistakes happen.
“You’re not innocent, Andrya! Wake up!”
I don’t know what he means, but suddenly I can’t breathe, my legs yanked out from under me as I fall to the ground. Writhing, I can’t see my attacker… all I know is the world around me is slowly going dark.
Eyes opening in panic,I see Isaac St. Clair is straddling my body as my fingers dig into his arms to push him away. Bucking my hips, I try to push him off of me, but his eyes look like black pits of anger in the semi darkness.
“You didn’t have to be so cruel,” he growls, his hands releasing just enough so that I can gasp in some air. “The three fuck-a-teers do everything together, and I know you were the mastermind. You could have chosen anyone else to unleash your misery and anger out on.Why her?”
My eyes are tearing up as I realize my dream has morphed into Isaac’s fury. “I don’t… know,” my whispered wail sounds before Isaac closes his hand around my throat.
His other hand is thrown up in the air in annoyance. “What do you mean you don’t know?” Isaac hisses. “This was your fucked up little plan to feel better about something. You forget that I know you. The next time you need to feel better about yourself go fuck someone!”
I really can’t breath now, and I attempt to thrust my knees up to hit his back, but I’m trapped in the damn sheets.
“Do you enjoy feeling helpless, I wonder? Silla is sleeping in the infirmary tonight because she had another panic attack, Drya. Think quickly before I choke you until you pass out. If I thought I could get away with it, I’d kill you for what you did,” Isaac growls.
