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“I’d never give you the chance to hurt me twice.”
Silenced by the impact of my heart slamming against my chest, I closed my eyes and let the words soak. Everything hurt. Before I managed to recover, she was gone.
“Goodnight, Milo,” she called out over her shoulder as she slid into her truck and took off into the dark of the night.
I wasn’t sure how long I remained on the passenger side, trying to recuperate until I made it back to my side and inside of my whip. My heart led the way as my foot mashed the metal, assisting it to its destination. And it wasn’t until I was parked alongside the white fence that was lined with greenery that I stopped. Out and on foot, I pushed through the barrier and made my way up onto the porch where beautiful plants lined the stairs up.
“Milo?” Nature gasped.
Flustered cheeks and furrowed brows were evidence of her state of confusion. She had barely gotten her key into the front door by the time I invaded that personal space that didn’t exist in my head or my heart. Filled to the brim with regret and grief for the loss of us, I folded my hands in front of me to keep from wrapping them around her body, lifting her into the air, ripping her out of that dress and fucking her on this porch until she forgot all the pain I caused her all those years ago.
“I’ll do it.”
“I’m sorry,” she apologized for nothing. “But what is it, Milo? What are you referring to?”
“The sperm. I’ll do it.”
“Milo, I wasn’t ser—”
“I’ll do it. I want to do it. Let it be mine.”
“Milo, you don’t have… I have a donor.”
“It should be me, Nature. It would be an honor and it would be a small token of appreciation for your contributions to the person I am today. It’s the least I can do, Nay. Gift you with the one thing that will unbreak the heart I broke back then and screwed up your whole life plan. Let me get you back on track. Let me contribute to the woman, the mother, you’re trying to become.”
“Milo, are you sure?” she asked, tears making her eyeballs glisten in the dark of the night.
“I’m so fucking for real. Let me do that for you. Genes, family history, physical disabilities and attributions, all of that is right in front of you. It’s not something you have to question or worry about down the line. You know me. You know my history. You’ve seen the niggas in my family too many times to count.”
“This is… I didn’t expect… I’m sorry. I’m just trying to process everything. This is… this is. Why are you doing this, Milo?”
“Because I don’t want to see you do this alone. I have no doubt that you can, but I want in, Nay. I’m not getting younger, either.”
“Co-parent?” She groaned through her tears. “What else is in this for you? I know you’ve thought about this on that short ride over. Lay it all on the line, Milo. Don’t lie and don’t hold anything back. Tell me everything.”
“Natural conception.”
“Ha!” Sarcastically, she chuckled. “Of course you would wan—”
“Co-parenting.”
Shaking her head, she continued listening as she cleared her face of tears.
“A second chance.”
“Milo, I—”
“Hear me out, Nature. I’m not asking for that today or next month or the month after. I am simply saying that, whenever you decide to date, I want first in line. It’ll only make sense for us to at least try and maybe co-parenting won’t be the dynamic forever, ya know? Maybe our child could eventually experience a two-parent household. Maybe we could walk down the aisle and jump that broom.
“Your plan is still viable. It can survive if you’d just give it a chance to. I won’t beg you. I won’t bother you. I won’t try to force you into anything. Time will do for us all that needs to be done. Just give me the chance to truly father our child before the next nigga. That’s all I’m asking.”
“It’s asking a lot, Milo.”
“I understand that, but I’m worth it, Nay. I know it and so do you.”
Pausing momentarily, she nodded after some thought.
“That’s three requests to make one of my dreams come true.”
