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“Now, I don’t have to.” She yawned. “I truly appreciate you.”
She meant it. From the depths of me, I understood the fact that her statement was much deeper than she was letting on.
Tired eyes batted the tearful display of exhaustion away.
“My God,” she sighed, coming to terms with just how much she needed the rest that was waiting for her.
I removed her feet from my lap, this time managing to stand to my feet completely. The last thing I wanted was Nay to try to keep my company by staying awake longer than her body could tolerate. My departure was inevitable. Though I’d rather stay, we weren’t in that space, not yet. We were back at square one. The thought stung momentarily, but subsided once I heard her call out to me.
“Milo.”
“Yes, Nature?”
“Can you grab me a blanket?”
“I need you to lock up, Nay. I can grab you a blanket but you have to get up to lock the door.”
“I can’t,” she whined with her eyes closed.
As the words left her mouth, she turned on her side, getting more comfortable on the couch. Seeing as though she had little interest in getting her ass up, I made my way to the basket where blankets were piled to the very top. I draped the blanket over her body before making my way out of the door.
As I stood on the porch, I began typing a message that simply didn’t feel substantial enough. I quickly decided to make a call instead. Mercer picked up after the third ring. Silence coated the line. I could feel the heaviness of the load he bore, readjusting to life after his freedom was stripped away for so long. I saw the struggle in his eyes. I heard the struggle in his voice. And I understood the struggle even in his silence.
“I won’t make it to dinner tonight, Merc,” I explained, lowering my eyes to the ground as I brushed over my waves with my hand.
“Aight.” His lack of emotion was directly rooted to his disconnection from the world.
Already, I regretted the decision to cancel. As much as Nature needed me tonight, so did my oldest brother. His mental health was in question. I’d never forgive myself if it overturned his ability to think properly and positively, resulting in something catastrophic.
“I’ll be there,” I rushed out.
“No you won’t,” he responded, seemingly unfazed. “Stay with her.”
“How do you niggas know what the fuck I’m doing, who I’m with, and my plans without me even telling y’all?”
“Because, nigga. Nature is the only possible reason you’d flake on your family, so I know she’s involved. I’m not sweating it. Get it right with her.”
“I’m trying, man, but shit isn’t looking too good right now.”
“It always gets better,eventually,” he emphasized.
“Eventually, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“I love you, Merc. And I’m sorry, bro.”
“You sound like a bitch, Milo.”
Because he ended the call so swiftly, I was unable to respond.
Chucking up the abrupt end to our call, I headed inside Nature’s place. She hadn’t invited me to spend the night, but she hadn’t exactly forbid it. Not that I gave a damn either way. My concerns were valid, and so was my presence. The swelling of her feet was still heavy on my mind and I wanted to keep an eye on her in case of an emergency.
Suddenly, she wasn’t the only one that needed some shuteye. A yawn split my face in two, almost, and the thought of hitting the sack before the clock struck nine for once sounded like the move. Stepping inside, I found her sound asleep with her back toward the television she’d been watching.
Because it was impossible for us both to lie on the couch, and her comfort was my priority, I revisited the basket I’d retrieved her blanket from and grabbed a few of my own. I rearranged the living room slightly by pushing the table and accent chairs across the room to give me unrestricted access to the large rug underneath them. I spread the largest blanket out on the floor before placing the smaller of the two on top. Up the stairs, I ran to grab pillows from one of the guest rooms.
When I finally rested my back against the floor, with Nature in sight, relief consumed me. I’d switched off every light around us, leaving it dark and moody. The low lights from the late setting of the sun cast an orange hue over the sky that peeked through the blinds. The ambiance was a scene straight from a movie.
