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“The hotel allows it,” he said. “There’s ventilation in the smoking section.”
He put the cigarette to his lips, the cherry tip glowing in the dim light. His eyes never left me as the smoke spilled from his mouth and dissipated.
“Tell me what’s going on in your head?” he said.
I opened my mouth and the vibrator hummed. This time, I took a deep breath and forced myself to keep still.
“I was thinking about that night,” I whispered. “When you came to my room. Before we were married.”
His chest constricted. “It’s burned into my brain. Not necessarily for the right reasons.”
The tension over the tabletop thickened. The buzzing inside me changed to a slow, building rhythm. Once off, twice on again. I clenched my inner muscles, hoping it wouldn’t slip out as I grew steadily more soaked. My nipples pushed against the delicate bra he’d chosen for me.
I swallowed, suddenly off-kilter. He didn’t move except to put the cigarette back to his lips and take a slow draw from it. His body was relaxed in his seat, his knees spread, and his eyes were eating me alive.
“Are we safe?” I whispered.
“What?” His head cocked.
I swallowed. “You said the thing about the guns yesterday. Are…we safe? Please, please be honest with me.”
He was quiet for too long. Then he released a short sigh.
“As long as you and the boys are with me, you’ll always be safe,” he said. “It’s a precarious situation, but I’ll bring us through it one way or the other.”
I started to speak, but his mouth thinned and I fell silent.
“Trust me, Liv,” he said, his voice husky.
“I do trust you,” I insisted.
“No. Trust me the way you were taught to trust God as a child,” he said bluntly.
My brows rose. The arrogance of my ice cold husband never ceased to catch me by surprise. “Oh? Should I be praying to you at night?”
“If begging is a form of prayer, you already do.”
The vibrator turned off just as our waiter appeared and set our food down. He’d ordered a light meal for us, which meant he was planning on fucking me hard and feeding me again afterwards. He let me eat and have another glass of wine before his eyes narrowed from across the table and the vibrator came to life.
“Lucien,” I whispered. “Please.”
Pressure built and my heart pattered against my ribs. His eyes remained flat and unmoved.
“Lean forward,” he ordered.
I shook my head. “If I do that…you know what happens, Lucien.”
He looked me over and chose not to have mercy. His brow twitched and I gripped the edge of the table and obeyed. Pressing my body forward just an inch, like I was reaching for something, and the vibrator compressed inside me. My clit rubbed against my panties, pulsing hard.
My lips parted. “God, Lucien,” I whispered.
“That’s right,” he said quietly. “Focus. Breathe. Listen to my voice. Keep your eyes on me.”
I couldn’t have torn from his magnetic gaze if I’d tried. My wrists shook and I clenched my fingers together. “I thought fucking and fighting were supposed to be done behind closed doors,” I managed.
“I’m not fucking or fighting right now.”
“This isn’t right,” I managed. “I can’t come here..”
