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“I will always be here.”
The butterflies from earlier tonight explode again and I taste their sweetness on my tongue. I grip his hand tighter and my voice shakes as I whisper, “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why would you do that for me?”
“In case it’s not clear yet, I care about you, and when it’s someone I care about, which is decidedly few and far between, I protect them.”
“I still don’t understand. Are we in a relationship or are you just having your fun with me? Why would you care about me if…if you’re unable to feel love toward me?”
“Who says I’m unable to love you?”
“You couldn’t say it earlier.”
“Because I don’t like to label what I feel for you as love. This”—he points between us—“is much more potent and twisted than mere love. If loving someone means letting them go and wishing them happiness with someone else, then I don’t subscribe to that definition. But if love means protecting and wanting to take care of you till my dying day, then I love you more than anyone has ever loved another human being.”
My lips tremble. “You…do?”
“Depending on your definition of the word.” He takes my hands in his bigger ones, leans his forehead against mine, and closes his eyes.
I study his sharp jawline and the fluttering of his lashes over his skin. I’ve never seen someone so brutally beautiful as he is. And yet, at this moment, he feels like a different man.
No, not different.Changed.
I used to only see a monster in him, but I’ve found out he’s so much more than that.
No, he’ll probably never be normal, but I’m irrevocably in love with him, faults and all. He was born different and always will be, so why should he comply with social standards?
“Listen to me carefully, Mia. My whole life, I’ve been a desolate, empty entity of anarchy and violence. My black soul couldn’t survive without inflicting some form of chaos or producing a decadent burst of creativity, but even that has dwindled and started to drift from the center of my being. Without art, I’m nothing but a serial killer in the making. Ever since you came along, not only have you pushed my creativity to heights I never imagined would be possible, but you also filled up the emptiness with your stubborn submissiveness and stupid flowers with names. While I can’t possibly be your Prince Charming—and rightly so, since he’s an overrated idiot—and I can never be neurotypical, whether genetically or mentally, I promise you this, Mia. I’ll always see your perspective before mine, not because I have to, but because I want to. I’m in for the long haul.”
I stroke his cheek, careful not to press where his fading bruises are. “What if you get tired of me down the road?”
“Complete and utter nonsense. I’d get tired of myself before I’d ever get tired of you, and we both know that I believe myself to be God’s gift to humans.”
I chuckle and he opens his eyes, a sly grin lifting the corner of his lips. “Say it again.”
“What?”
“That you love me. I want to hear you say it.”
I release a sigh. I have no qualms about how different and absolutely thrilling being in a relationship with Landon is. I know if maybe down the line, I find someone else or end things between us, he’ll revert to his toxic ways faster than I can blink.
But that’s the thing.
I’m definitely as crazy as Landon is, because I do believe that we are the forever type of couple. For us, breaking up is impossible.
If he doesn’t make sure of it, I will.
There’s no way I’d let another woman have him. Not in this lifetime.
I grab his face with both hands and whisper against his mouth, “I love you, Lan.”
He inches closer until his lips nearly brush against mine. “And I love you, Mia. Forever.”
His lips meet mine and he seals the confession with a searing kiss.
EPILOGUE 1—MIA
