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For a moment, she merely studied me, like she was breathing me in. “Youdid, but not how you think. It was this overwhelming draw to the man in the dream. The voice in the dark. I could not resist it; I was consumed the night I saw the memory of Ari’s sleep. So consumed I could not even hide the unease from my royals. I . . . I didn’t know how to explain it.
“Then, I lost my brother and he mentioned the first bond the same as my father did in the past. It terrified me to think something unknown awaited me, but I didn’t know my hesitation was leaving you here to rot.”
Tears lined her lashes; she pointed her face to the ground to hide them.
Chaotic thoughts tangled in my skull. They choked off the words, burned through my veins. I pressed my brow to hers, holding her against me. To rot. That’s what I had done. I’d decayed, faded; I’d shattered under the weight of helplessness, of anger, of hate and longing. Now, all that remained was a creature she could hardly look in the eyes.
“Do you know what it’s like?” I shook my head and glared at the darkness in the corner of the room. “No. She doesn’t. She doesn’t know.”
Gentle hands touched my unmasked cheek. I hadn’t realized I’d clenched the whole of my body, until her touch drew out a rough breath and released the mounting tension.
Calista held my face in her palms and peered over my shoulder. “Hey, he’s not yours, you damn ghosts.”
What the hells? The ghoulish movement from the corners and crevices; my sole companions all this time. There was a fierce piece of me that knew they were nothing but figments of my imagination, but she was . . . shouting at them on my behalf.
“I’m talking to him now, so get gone.” Calista gave me a soft smile. “Look at me, Silas. It’s just me here now. You’re not alone in the dark any longer.”
My fingers dug into her arms; my brow dropped to her shoulder. Calista didn’t pull away. She didn’t flinch. Her palm smoothed down the back of my neck, until my pulse slowed. “I . . . sometimes my thoughts get muddled in the dark.”
“I know.” Her fingertips traced the line of my jaw. “I hate myself for leaving you here alone. All you’ve done, all you’ve been forced to endure, and I abandoned you.”
“Little Rose—”
“No.” She closed her eyes. “No, it’s true, and I don’t know if I’ll forgive myself for being such a coward. I don’t mind if you speak to shadows, Silas, but let me be the one to hold the candle and walk with you through the darkness.”
All these turns I’d waited for this moment, when the truth would be hers for the taking, when no walls stood between us, when bonds were found.
She was my mate, my whole being, but she feared losing her own autonomy. “A bond must be accepted, chosen, not forced. You should gather your thoughts, then we can speak more about what moves to make in this war.”
“We can’t leave the other kingdoms—”
“We do not know how to help them for we are still figuring out our steps,” I insisted. We needed to end our tale, we needed to find, accept, and grow in whatever bond was meant to burn between us. But if she did not want it, then we would need to find another way. “While you . . . consider everything you’ve learned, I will see if we can find a way to set sail to other lands. At the very least, try to send word.”
“You’d do that?”
“They have cared for you when I could not be there. I will always fight for them.” My jaw pulsed. “Rest, Little Rose. We need to work together to find other solutions.”
I did not know what came next. I did not know if we would find each other only to fall in blood against an enemy. I did not know if this was the end of it all.
“Don’t go,” she said, reaching for me.
I brought her palm to my lips and pressed a kiss in the center. “Gather your thoughts. The steps we take next, we must be sure.”
I guided her toward the bed chamber she’d stayed in the first night, then left before I could not. My heart was bonded to hers; every fiber of my being was hers to claim. A piece of the tale, but if she did not wish to accept a fated bond, I would not force it.
I would let her go. I would stand beside her. Even if I couldn’t have her.
Chapter21
The Storyteller
Sleep was a ridiculous notion,a mythical thing I’d never find when my blood had not ceased boiling since Silas left me to my damn thoughts.
A bond. He was the first bond everyone wanted me to find. My first song, the boy who’d awakened my magic, my words. The boy who’d watched my death over and over, trapped in cursed shadows, alone for centuries, all so he could help me sing the songs of fate for crowns and kingdoms and . . . us.
He did it all to guide me back to the beginning, to the first kingdom, to him.
Now, he’d left me here to deny him.
