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“Well, acquaint yourself with her fast since she isn’t going anywhere.”
“Now it is I who have offended you,” Inessa says, hanging her head down low with the reprimand.
I let out a long exhale.
“No, Inessa. You have not. Like I said, we are friends. If we can’t speak the truth to one another, even when it’s hard to hear, then what kind of friendship do we even have? I trust you, Inessa, to always keep me grounded even if, at times, all I want to do is fly away from this plane of existence.”
“If that is the case, then please be patient with me as I tell you another truth that you might not like to hear,” she advises sternly.
I prepare myself for her to berate me for my recent actions. For her to say atrocities regarding Teo and what she believes is a grave mistake that I’m making of even getting involved with him in such a way. But in the end, she surprises me with her next piece of advice, no less brutal than the words I thought I’d hear.
“You can keep staring at that letter all night long, Kat. It won’t change what is inside it.”
My gaze falls down to the letter lying inches in front of me, my heart hurting already without having read one word.
“I’m not sure I can,” I admit on an anguished sob. “What if word has traveled east… what if he knows that me and Teo have… What will he think of me then?”
“No use in suffering beforehand, my queen. Life is cruel enough as it is without our thoughts making it even more so.”
“Inessa’s right. You have to open it, Kat. That’s the only way you’ll know,” Anya chimes in consolingly.
I take a deep breath and pick the letter up in my hands.
“Do you need us to go? Give you some privacy?” Anya asks, concerned.
“No.” I shake my head. “Can you just sit with me? Please?”
Both Anya and Inessa are quick to sit on either side of me on the bed. Anya begins to run her hand up and down my back to give me courage, while Inessa pats my knee, her own way of offering me the same.
When I crack the seal, the sound instantly feels ominous to me, as a hint to how my heart will break after I’ve read Levi’s words. I close my eyes and take another deep breath, while praying to the gods to show me some mercy.
My dearest queen,
I hope this letter finds you well and in good health.
I fear I cannot say the same about me.
Your recent silence has been deafening, my love.
So deafening that the words left unsaid between us are all I seem to hear.
I was a coward in Braaka.
A foolish coward that believed if I didn’t say the words then, your absence wouldn’t hurt as much.
But the gods, they have been cruel in their lessons.
This time living without you has taught me that no words should be left unsaid, for who is to know when you’ll have the chance again.
So here I am, grabbing what may be the last chance I ever have.
I love you, Kat.
Always and forever, I will love only you.
In the short time we spent together, you have given me more peace than a soldier like me could even think capable of having.
I have known love and have felt loved, and for that gift alone, I will be forever grateful to you and in your debt.
