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I did it again and again until the water warmed. The more the panic attack receded, the more my body became weak, and I began to tremble. “It wasn’t you,” I said with a raspy, sore voice. I tilted my head back to stare up at Knox. “It wasn’t a dream.”
Knox frowned down at me.
More tears leaked from my eyes. “I thought it was you.”
Knox brushed water and tears from my cheek. “You thought what was me?”
All I could do was sob.
7
The smellof coffee had filled the room. Knox had brewed some and just finished serving everyone each a mugful. Currently, I was sitting at the kitchen island with Colt and Creed sitting on either side of me. Knox and Keelan were both standing in the kitchen, directly across from us. The mood was somber and all four of them wore different faces of upset. That was because I had just gotten done telling them what had happened to me—what Mr. X had done to me.
“Were her clothes…” Keelan started to say as he stared down at his coffee mug in his hand. “When you two went over that morning, did her clothes…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it.
“She was dressed,” Colt snapped. “The only thing that stood out was that we could barely wake her, and when we did, she was completely out of it.”
“The blankets that were hanging off the end of the bed,” Creed said as he ran his hand down the side of his face. “The way they were folded over was too precise for them to have been kicked off in her sleep. I remember thinking that it was strange at the time.”
“One of us should have stayed with you,” Colt said angrily.
“Don’t think like that,” I grumbled. “If any of you had been there, he might have killed you sooner than he planned.”
“Sooner than he planned?” Keelan repeated.
“I was wondering why he hasn’t tried to kill us yet,” Creed said. “Why go after Isabelle instead of us? We’re the bigger threat.”
“You’re the bigger threat to him because you mean the most to me,” I said as I stared down at my barely drunk coffee. “Which is why he was saving you four for last.”
“Last?” Colt and Creed said at the same time.
“Mr. X is patient. He stalked me for years. Is it so hard to believe that when he found me again, he would want our reunion to be perfect, or what he feels is perfect? Or did you think that he’d slaughter you and try to take me the moment he found me?” I asked them and their silence was my answer. I let out a humorless laugh. “I knew in my gut something wasn’t right. I knew what I was seeing.” I shook my head in disdain.
“You’re not being fair to yourself,” Keelan said.
I scooped up my coffee mug and stood from my seat at the island. “You need to stop letting me off the hook.”
As I started to walk away, Colt snapped, “Because you’d rather us tell you it’s your fault.”
I kept walking, refusing to take the bait.
I heard the sound of a chair scraping along the wood floor before Colt said, “It’s tomorrow, Shiloh.”
I froze as the meaning of his words hit me. “I’ve already had a meltdown once today. Isn’t that enough?” I asked over my shoulder.
“You can scream, cry, and break down as much as you need to as long as you’re dealing,” Colt said.
I didn’t have any more tears left to cry today. All I felt inside me right now was anger and none of them deserved that. I took another step forward, intending to retreat to my room.
“You blame yourself for Isabelle.” Colt’s voice may have been soft when he delivered that blow, but his words packed a powerful punch. It was strong enough to destroy the last bit of control I had.
I whirled around, snarling, “God damn it, Colt!”
Unflinchingly, Colt stood his ground, while the others quietly watched us. I’d expect this kind of pushing from Knox, but ever since I’d explained what Mr. X had done to me while I’d thought it was him, he had been abnormally quiet.
“What happened to Isabelle wasn’t your fault,” Colt said calmly, yet the firmness in his voice told me his Hulk side was just below the surface.
I shook my head, refusing to listen.
