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Admittedly, I had a corruption kink. So did Vince. But I’d come into it after the fact; it had become a coping mechanism. Roleplaying religious corruption was soothing for me. It reoriented my brain, allowing me to take something painful and turn it into play.
“He’d never turn you away,” she said, as if the very idea was ludicrous. And it was. But like her parents, mine had based all their assumptions on beliefs rather than actual knowledge. They hadn’t been interested in learning the truth, only in clinging to their fucked-up viewpoints.
“No, he wouldn’t,” I said. “But even if he had...even if my parents had been right, and Vincent was just some fuckboy who was using a naive guy for sex...even then...it didn’t change who I was. It didn’t change that there were parts of me they wouldn’t accept.”
When I looked over at her, she was staring straight ahead, her eyes far away. I could only guess at what she felt; I didn’t know what her mother had said to her, or what dark worries lived in her heart. But I knew that she didn’t deserve to live a lie any more than I did. Whether she chose us, or moved on, she still deserved to live authentically.
“It was worth it,” I said. “Even though it hurt. It was worth it to hold on to who I was and not let anyone take that away from me. It’ll be worth it for you too, I promise you. I know it sucks. It hurts to stand up to people you love. It hurts even more when they reject you. I honestly don’t know if that pain ever goes away. But even if it hurts for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t take it back.”
“You’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met, Jason,” she said. “But you shouldn’t have had to be brave. You shouldn’t have had to fight to be who you are. That wasn’t fair.”
“Life isn’t fair, I suppose,” I said. “But I think things worked out for me pretty damn well. I mean...look at what I have. A boyfriend who’s been with me for over six years, lovers who understand me, a family unit that respects me, you...” I traced my finger along her face. “A remarkable woman, a fighter, a challenging little princess.” She laughed at me, and although she rolled her eyes, she did it with a smile. “It was hard as fuck to get here, but it was worth it. If I had to go back...I wouldn’t change anything.”
Once upon a time, I’d dreamed of bringing a girl like her home to meet my family. To see the pride on my father’s face, to have my mother’s approval. But those things were out of reach for me now, and that was okay. I had something better. My family had chosen me and I’d chosen them in return. I was loved...and desperately in love, too.
She leaned close and we met in the center of the cab. Our foreheads pressed together for a moment in silence as I held her hand. She used to make me so anxious. Every time I looked at her, my heart would beat faster, and I’d become suddenly aware of my every flaw.
It didn’t feel like that anymore.
My heart still beat faster when I looked at her, but it was because I couldn’t believe she was here. With me. Holding me, kissing me, fucking me. It blew my mind. A few years ago, I never would have thought this was possible. But now...
Now I wasn’t sure how it was possible to let her go.
“I know these past few weeks have been...weird,” I said. “It’s probably been overwhelming. But regardless of how we got here, I’m glad we did. I’m glad you’re a petulant little brat who couldn’t say no, so you ended up abandoned in our garage. I’m glad that part of you knew what was right, and that you were brave, and that you chose to face us instead of running away.”
“I’m glad too.” She sat up straight, gazing at me with a look that was partly fearful and wholly wild in its determination. “Jason, I...I have something to tell you...and I don’t know if I should...” Her voice trembled, on the verge of whispering.
“You can tell me anything,” I said. “Come on, you know me. I’ve heard it all already, princess.”
She lowered her eyes, and when she lifted them again, she looked as if she was bracing herself for something that would hurt.
“I love you, Jason.”
I stared at her, the words slowly sinking in. Her eyes were so sincere, and she reached over, grasping my hand. She traced her finger over my rings, nervously, and swallowed hard before she said, “I love you so much.”
To my alarm, it actually made my eyes sting.
Holy shit.
She loved me.
I laughed softly, a chuckle that became something more. It wasn’t enough to hold her; I wished I could pull her inside me and keep her there. I wished I could somehow impart, physically rather than with words, how fucking much this meant to me.
But physicality wasn’t enough either.
I brushed my hand through her hair, the golden strands coiling around my fingers. “God, Jess. I never thought I’d hear you say that.” My smile felt too vulnerable, too earnest. As if I’d forgotten my boundaries, my caution suddenly gone. “I love you. Fuck, I...” My hand was visibly shaking as I held it against her head. “I love you so much, Jess, I feel like I’m losing my mind. But I’m happy, I’m...” My words were getting tangled up. Shit, she’d fucked up my head, but I loved it. “I’m so happy. You make me so happy.”
