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Lucas hung up. “Nate and Alex just pulled up at Billy’s. Who’s coming with me?”
“I am,” Jason answered right away, then looked at me. “Will you stay with her?”
“I’m not leaving her,” I said. “You’d better be careful.”
“We will be.” Manson got to his feet, leaving the ice resting on Jess’s swollen ankle. It was difficult to guess what was going through his head, his expression was so carefully controlled. But when he looked at me, his voice was grim as he said softly, “Where is it?”
As much as I hated to carry the damn thing, I’d gotten a gun for a reason. We needed to defend ourselves, and I wasn’t about to let the three walk out of here without better protection than merely their fists.
“In the safe,” I said. “You know the code.”
He nodded, leaving the room. His steps pounded up the stairs as Jess looked between us with increasing distress.
“Don’t leave,” she said. “Please don’t go after them.” Lucas sat beside her, framing her face in his hands. She leaned into him, wrapping her arm around him. “Don’t go. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I’ll be fine,” he said. “Jason and Manson will both be fine. We’re not scared of them.”
“They’re not getting away with this,” Jason said. He was standing in the doorway, hands shoved in his pockets. Eager to go but hating to leave, especially when Jess turned her pleading gaze on him.
“I’d rather you be safe,” she said, and all the effort she’d put into sounding calm was suddenly gone. “You don’t need to go after them.”
“Yes, we do need to, angel.” Manson returned, pulling on his leather jacket. I glimpsed the pistol tucked into his jeans right before it was hidden again. “They’re not allowed to touch you. You’re off limits and they couldn’t respect that. They’re going to pay for it.”
Lucas left Jess with a kiss, disentangling himself from her arms and stalking out of the house with Jason right behind him. Watching him walk out the door made me wish I could tear myself in two. I couldn’t protect him and Jess, and it terrified me to let him go.
Manson clasped my hand before he left, and I said, “Don’t you fucking dare get hurt. Don’t...” I lowered my voice, because Jess was already scared and I didn’t want to make it worse. “Don’t let him get hurt, Manson.”
“You know I won’t,” he said. “Take care of our girl. We’ll be back soon.”
44 - Manson
Ididn’t want to hurtanyone.
I’d clung to that fact, repeated it to myself like a daily prayer. Despite my desires in relationships — and I was sadistic, there was no doubt about that — I didn’t want to causeharm. I wasn’t like my father; I wasn’t like the people who harassed me. The monster that lived inside me was tame, it was controlled. I wasn’t a violent person.
But as I walked into Billy’s Bar, with Jason and Lucas flanking me, the moral compass I’d clung to stopped giving me directions. The lines I’d drawn for myself, the boundaries I’d sought to maintain, no longer fucking mattered.
