Page 46 of Losers, Part II


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“It’s in New York.” His voice caught slightly as he said it. He was tracing his fingers over my arm, and when I looked back at him, the smile on his face was almost shy. “We can go whenever you want. Really.”

“To New York?” I said softly, and he nodded.

“Wherever you want to be, baby.”

Oh. It was like all the breath whooshed out of my lungs. He cupped my face, leaning so close as if to kiss me before he said, barely above a whisper, “Wherever you go, I want to be there too.”

“Yoo-hoo! Dinner is ready!” Vera’s voice called up to us from below, breaking the breathless tension. We both laughed, and he kissed me before we got to our feet.

Downstairs, the table had been set as if for a feast. There was a whole roast chicken with potatoes and carrots, biscuits, green beans, and dressing. My mouth started watering at the sight of it, and my stomach gave another enthusiastic growl as I took a seat between Vincent and Manson.

There was no clasping of hands and no prayer, but Stephan stood at the head of the table and said simply, “We are thankful now, as we always will be, for the blessing of our children, for the blessing of their love, and of course, for the blessing of new love.” He smiled at me, and Vera held my hand across the table. Then he sat and leaned over to kiss his wife on the cheek. “Thank you for all your work to create a beautiful meal for us, my dear.”

We echoed his thanks around the table before he clapped his hands, encouraging us all to dig in. I piled my plate high, not wanting to miss a taste of anything. Vera popped a bottle of wine and we passed it around the table to fill our glasses.

The crackling fire was warm and the rich food brought me back for seconds. Conversation was easy, with both of Vincent’s parents being quick to laugh and eager to listen. All throughout the dinner, Stephan’s words stuck in my mind.The blessing of new love.As I watched Vincent do magic tricks for Kristina, Lucas and Manson joking with Stephan, and Jason promising to play dolls with the twins after dinner, those words kept coming back to me.

Love.










16 - Manson

After dinner, Stephanpoured Vincent and I a couple fingers of the moonshine he kept stored out in his shed. He and Vince lit up a joint, although I declined, and the three of us sat near the greenhouse as we talked.

Lucas and Jess were helping Vera clean up, while Jason played with the kids. They’d been giving him a “makeover” when I last saw him, his blue hair affixed with numerous sparkling hair clips. All my memories in this house were good ones, and I was thankful for that. Coming back felt like a homecoming, regardless that I hadn’t grown up there. Vera and Stephan had made their house a shelter for not only their own kids, but any child who’d needed them.

Lucas and I had slept on the couch here dozens of times when we had nowhere else to go. They would have taken all of us in permanently if they’d had the space.

“Jessica seems like a good woman,” Stephan said, passing the joint back to his son. He was always slow to speak, choosing his words carefully.

“She’s the wildest little angel you’ll ever meet,” Vincent said. “She’s amazing.”

“Makes me feel like I’m losing my damn mind half the time,” I said, and Stephan chuckled as he nodded. “Luckily, I’m happy to lose it.”

“The right person will change you for the better,” he said. “Sometimes, it’s a temporary change — someone comes into your life for a time and tweaks things a bit before they move on. But sometimes, it’s permanent. Things in your life shift around just right and they fit in like the spot’s been waiting for ‘em.”

Part of me had known Jess would fit in with us perfectly. But in my experience, good things weren’t meant for me. Being cautious and expecting the worst was safer than having hope.

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