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His controlling bullshit started as soon as I moved into his dumb ass apartment.
“I expect you to clean this place daily, Sapphire. I don’t like coming home from a long day of work, so I can support you, to see a sink full of dishes.”
I shake my head as I let the water trail down my face. I thought that was normal. My stepfather would say the same shit to my mom. It never occurred to me that my mother was miserable and fucking hated my stepdad.
Why the fuck those two are still married is beyond me. He treats her like shit, abused her kid, and is honestly a huge sack of shit, but she stays.
Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all bad with Thad. He had his moments. But honestly, all that did was fuck my head up worse. It was hard to hate him for all the horrible things he’d done to me when he was buying me gifts or telling me how much he loved me. Love bombing is a term I recently learned.
I wish I’d seen the similarities between Thad and my stepfather sooner. Practically forcing me to marry my step-cousin should have been my first red flag. Thad not having any problem with it should have been the second. I did agree to it, though, so maybe this is all my own fault.
One day my stepfather was a cold, destructive asshole, and the next when he was feeling guilty, he’d buy us gifts to make up for his abuse.
The day he dies, I won’t be sad. No, I’ll be relieved. My first abuser, my first bully, will be gone, and I’ll be free.
I don’t think Antonio even knows how bad things really were. If he did, I doubt he would have left me there. I should probably borrow someone's phone to let my mother know I’m alive.
Despite her atrocious taste in men, she’s still my mom, and I do love her. Of course, I do. You don’t take a beating for some stupid ass shit for someone you don’t love.
I just don’t see how she loves such a horrible man. Because I might not be an expert in love, but one thing I do know is you don’t mentally abuse a child, just to feel powerful, and then label that shit love.
One day, when her husband dies, I’ll try to repair my relationship with my mother. Hopefully, it’s not too late by then.
What is it about our mothers that makes it so hard to let them go, even if that's what's best for us? Maybe the hope that they will love you unconditionally, one day. When they stop loving someone else more.
I get out of the shower, not paying much attention. I pull on some clean clothes from my small bag and don’t even think twice about tugging the hoodie I stole from Isaiah back on.
“So, I ruined this towel with my makeup. I’m sorry,” I say as I walk out of the bathroom.
Jer smiles brightly at me, handing me a box and tossing the towel on the floor.
“Sapphire, I don’t care about the towel. I’ll ruin all the towels with you,” he says his last words with a flirty wink, and I can’t help but laugh. A real laugh, one that I feel everywhere.
“Okay, if you say so.” I smile back, shaking my head at the playful man in front of me.
“Here. Sit, eat, enjoy.” He ushers me to the bed, and I do as he says, mostly curious.
“What is this?” I ask as I climb into the bed and hold up the box.
“Open it and you'll find out.” The smirk on his face is way too self-satisfied.
As I pull the lid off the box, I am genuinely surprised. It's a box of chocolates. It's chocolate-covered strawberries, to be exact.
“Wow. This is really sweet of you. No one has ever bought me chocolate-covered strawberries before,” I admit, making his mouth fall open.
“Really? No one ever?” I don’t like the way he’s looking at me right now. Like I’m pitiful.
“Nope.” I shake my head, looking away from his face, and instead try to decide which strawberry to eat first.
“Weren't you with Thad for like five years?”
“Yes, I was, but as we've already established, he was a piece of shit.” I know I sound a bit bitter, but I feel bitter. He robbed me of my happiness. He stole five years of my life, acted like I was the shitty one, and made me feel like I was a horrible person for literally everything.
“Shit, no kidding. Well, stick with me, hotcakes, and I'll make sure you get all the chocolate strawberries your heart could desire.”
“That's very sweet of you.” I smile, knowing he doesn’t really mean it, and he’s just trying to make me feel better. That thought kind of bums me out since Jer is a good guy and seriously hot. The last thing he needs in his life is a train wreck like me. Hell, Antonio doesn’t deserve to have my bullshit tossed in his lap, but I have no one else.
If I could do this on my own, I would. Hopefully, I don’t fuck things up for him too much.
