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Or, at least try to. I’m only so strong, and Rose isn’t the same girl she once was.
CHAPTER FIVE
“Sober” by P!nk
ROSE
I collapse onto my new king bed at almost ten. I’m mentally and physically exhausted, but I still take three large swigs from the bottle of vodka I commandeered from the kitchen.
No one seemed to mind me stealing it, so I’ll take that as a sign to get absolutely hammered. After all the bullshit, I think I deserve this. I made dinner for everyone. Spaghetti. Easy and quick. You’d think I’d cooked a gourmet meal with the way the men moaned after each bite.
Now I’m very worried about the rest of this week's meals. Is everyone here a terrible cook?
The vodka burns, and I shiver, making a face. Ew. But it gets the job done, so…whatever.
I check my phone, wondering if Nix has messaged me, but other than a text from my mother saying I need to call her, my phone is notification free. I’ll deal with Mom tomorrow.
Tonight, I drink!
* * *
Tears fall down my cheeks as a sob rocks my body.
“I knew he hated me!” I cry. It’s my eighteenth birthday. Our eighteenth birthday. Nix and I started ditching school a few years ago to play hooky at Billy Gardens, the local amusement park, on our birthday.
Only today, he wasn’t here. He never showed. Through every class, I waited, watching the clock. I counted down the seconds until the final bell rang, and then I sat in the parking lot to wait some more. I don’t drive anymore. So I refused ride after ride from my friends and eventually three teachers.
I watched as the kids who stayed late for sports got picked up or drove off. I watched the coaches leave, and then I watched the sunset.
“He doesn’t hate you, he’s just struggling. It’s only been eight months…” Holden frowns, reaching over to pat my leg. The shock of him touching my bare skin is lost to the sobs rocking through me.
“He just left me here…” I whisper, burying my face in my hands. “All day. How’d you even know I was still here?”
“I should have been here sooner. I’m sorry, Rosie. I won’t let him hurt you like this again, I promise…”
“Fuck!” I gasp, sitting up too fast. I don’t even remember falling asleep…“Oh, no…” I clutch my pounding head as the world spins. Fuck, I hate those dreams. Guilt claws at the back of my still-drunk mind, and I pull out my phone.
Me: I’m sorry, Nix. You don’t have to feel bad. Holden got me. I love you, brother… I’m sorry…
The phone slips from my grip and bounces to the floor. I’m too tired to retrieve it, but I fall back against my pillow and cross my fingers for a dreamless sleep.
Instead, I head down to the kitchen for some bread and water.
CHAPTER SIX
“Daylight” by David Kushner
HOLDEN
“Hi, Holden,” Rose waves, and I swallow thickly. It’s been two years since Coach Scott–Dad–adopted me, but I still get anxious. I’ve known her most of our childhood. Even before Nix saved my life.
Now she’s my stepsister.
“Rosie,” I whisper, throat tight. I’m moving in. My room is right across the hall. I have to share a bathroom with her and her twin brother. See her every day.
Her and her pretty blonde hair and hazel eyes that are so big and curious. She holds her arms open for me, offering a hug, and I can admit I’m not strong enough to deny her. I want to hold her.
I shouldn’t, but I do.
