Page 55 of Hope After Loss


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“I’ll protect you from bears and coyotes, and I’ll be a perfect gentleman. I’ll even pack you your own tent,” I assure her.

“It’s not that. I’ve just never left Kaela overnight before.” Her voice trails off, and her expression changes from excitement to disappointment.

“You know, my mom raised six boys. I bet she’d do just fine, taking care of Kaela overnight. In fact, I bet she and Pop would be tickled pink to have a set of little feet padding around the house again. They haven’t had that since Tucker was a toddler.”

“I don’t know,” she says.

“Think about it. Talk to Mom, and when and if you feel comfortable enough to have her stay the night with her, you let me know.”

“Okay, I will. Thanks,” she says.

“Carry on with … whatever the hell you’re doing here. I’ll go grab us a sandwich.”

She sticks her tongue out at me.

I laugh and head to my truck.

“Turkey and avocado melt with extra provolone, please,” she calls after me.

Anna

“Thank you for keeping her,” I tell Leona as I step onto her porch with Kaela in my arms.

“It was no problem. I loved every minute. Anytime you need someone to sit with her, you just call,” she assures me.

I load Kaela into the car, and before we head home, we make a pit stop.

I pull through the gate and make my way around the winding road until I find the spot I’m searching for.

Looking over my shoulder into the backseat, I find that Kaela has fallen asleep. Instead of disturbing her, I take the bouquet I bought before picking her up and exit the car quietly.

I walk the paved path until I find the right marker, and I place the flowers on the headstone.

“Happy birthday, Mike. I would have been here sooner, but I had to work. Surprise. I haven’t had a chance to tell you, but I have a job. I’m working for Corbin’s brother, Weston. You know, the one who owns the hemp farm. I’m his new assistant. I really like it too. It pays well, Weston is easy to work for, and he even lets me bring Kaela to work with me. How great is that?”

I glance around. What a sight, looking like I must be talking to myself.

I take a seat and begin to wipe at the dust that has settled on the stone.

“Kaela’s walking now. She’s still a bit unsteady, but she’s getting the hang of it. Before I know it, I’ll be longing for the time when I could set her down and have her stay put. She’s getting so big. It’s strange; it’s going so fast. Her first year is a blur. I wish I could go back and pay more attention.”

I lay my hand on his name carved into the marble.

“I just missed you so much, and it’s all I can do to go through the motions some days,” I say as I close my eyes and let the tears slide out.

“Anna?”

I turn and look up to see Graham walking over the hill.

Swiping at my cheeks, I stand and greet him. “Hi, Graham. What are you doing out here?”

“I come by here a couple of times a month. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt your prayer,” he says as he reaches me.

“I wasn’t praying. It’s Mike’s birthday, and I brought flowers for him. The last prayer I uttered was the day of the fire. I haven’t spoken to God much since,” I admit.

“Why not?” he asks.

I shrug.

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