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“Don’ttell me to relax. That was Dad.”
“What did he do to you?” Jamie says.
“What?”
“Before I made the phone call, you said he hurt you.”
“I didn’t.”
“You implied it.”
He raises his hands, gently taking my shoulders. When he pulls me into a hug, I know I should rage against him, but I let myself savor it for a few precious more moments because we’ll have to end it after this. This is too much.
“He used to hit me sometimes,” I croak. “Don’t say anything about it. I don’t want to hear anything. It’s just a fact. It’s what used to happen when he was high. Never hard, but no, there’s no excuse. It never seemed likehim, though. Always just this ugly monster who lived inside of him.”
“He…” Jamie holds me tighter. “Christ, I should’ve killed him for real.”
That snaps something in me. I grab Jamie’s chest and push him away.
“Explain, now! You said you’d tell me when your sister is safe. Well, she’s safe. Wait…”
How has it taken me this long to think of this?
“We need to call the police. There was a man in my garden with a gun. My dad, my dead dad.”
Damn it. The panic slams into me again. I sit on the bed heavily, holding my hands together, as wave upon wave surges through me. I can only sit here and tolerate it until it’s over. Jamie sits next to me, wrapping his arm around me. It’s twisted how easy it is to seek comfort in him, even if he’s the source of the pain.
“Explain,” I say once I’ve caught my breath.
“Your father was a drug dealer,” Jamie says.
“I know that.”
“A few months before they sentenced me to prison…” He pauses, sighing darkly. “I’m not proud of this.”
“Tell me,” I say, turning and looking up at him.
He stares down with the same expression he had when he told me he wished he could provide for me and ranted about his beat-up car. Shame touches him, breaking my heart and making me want to support him, but he’s been lying to me from the start.
“I injured my back while training.”
“Training?”
“MMA,” he says. “I’ve been doing it, on and off, my entire life. A bad injury had me laid up for days in the hospital. They gave me meds, and the pain went away, but it also filled this hole in me. I don’t know.”
“Hole?” I whisper.
He tries to laugh it off, but it’s husky and sounds distant.
“Ever since I was a—”
He stops at a noise outside. It could be a cat jumping over a fence, or it could be Dad again. Jamie springs to his feet.
“What thehellam I doing? We’re sitting here, talking, and I don’t even know if you’re safe. If anything ever happened to you… Wait here. Don’t come out until I say it’s okay.”
“Jamie, he ran, and if he’s around, he had a gun. We should call the cops.”
“Just give me a second.”
