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“It should return to her body, yes.” Lorian doesn’t look at me as he says it.
“There’s something else, isn’t there?” I ask, using Scarlet as support as I stand up. The pain ebbs away once I’m on my feet.
“It’s possible Nelvin won’t return to his. The afterlife is delicate. Souls are delicate. If he doesn’t return to his body, he might not keep his sense of direction.” Lorian looks over at the three of us and scoffs. “Gods... It’s like explaining how to steer a ship to a toddler.” He clasps his hands and steps closer. “When someone dies, they have this innate drive to go to River Styx. It calls them and they just wander there. Once in the water, their soul travels through the river to the soul well, where they can be reincarnated. In Nelvin’s case, his soul was trapped in here before his body died. When he comes out, he might not have this drive. He could be disoriented and if he doesn’t make it to Styx—”
Zephyr cuts him off, his gaze voided on the cave floor as he speaks. “He might wander. He’ll be lost.”
“Yes... And lost souls don’t ever move on. They wander until they forget who and what they are. Eventually, they just cease to exist.” The lump in Lorian’s throat bobs before he meets my gaze.
“Can we take him to Styx ourselves? We’re on Neverland. It’s not too far from the mainland. Could we sail there before the moons come?” Scarlet looks between me and Lorian, but my heart is too heavy to answer her.
Losing Nelvin will crush Smee as is. They might’ve had a weird relationship, but she loved him. Knowing that our uncle condemned his soul to the point that everything that makes him who he was ceases to exist would be devastating. Especially since she’s the one who called the Crocodile to us in the first place. She’ll never come back from that.
“No... Even with the ship flying, it would take too long,” Zephyr says.
Scarlet shifts awkwardly beside me. She doesn’t know about the pixie dust yet, but I suppose she will soon enough.
“There’s another way...” I hate that I’m even thinking about this, but I know my sister. She wouldn’t survive that. “I open the vault. I use her soul to get my shadow back and Nelvin can catch a ride with her in. I’m not sure what is on the other side of that portal, but at least they’ll be together. Nelvin won’t be lost, she won’t have to live with the grief of losing him or of what happened. They both will find peace...”
Staring at my fingers, I pick at the blood caked beneath my nails. I just hope I’m making the right choice.
“Are you sure about this?” Scarlet says, cupping my cheek and dragging my gaze to hers. Her hazel eyes entrap me, and somehow, I just know it’s going to be okay.
“Yes...” It’s what’s best for Smee and Nelvin. It’s also what’s best for us, too. With Scarlet’s shadow gone... There’s a very good chance it never returns, but I hoped it would, anyway. I didn’t want her to fall apart like I did. She needed to have hope, but if it hasn’t returned by now, it’ll be a miracle for it to. With my shadow and our bond, she’ll get to experience things the way I have through her. It’ll be enough. “We need this,” I say, not wanting to voice our secret out loud.
No one needs to know about her missing shadow. Not now, not ever. I’ll find a witch to spell her the way my father had one do me. It’ll make it look like she has a shadow if someone sees her in the light. She’ll see it on the ground, and no one will be the wiser of what she’s missing. It’s our secret.
Tears brim, glossing her eyes as she puts together what I’m saying. “Alright.”
I step up to the pillar Scarlet by my side. It’s already branded the rune into my hand, but I line it up and place it on the stone once more. The portal on the wall swirls to life, creating a sea of blues and greens and a plethora of colors that warp like a mirror. Lorian mumbles something behind me, and I can see the light cast upon the stones. He’s pulling them out.
Tears stream down my face as I think of my sister. Of everything we’ve been through together. Her laugh, her smile, the way she used to tease me as a kid. I remember holding her in my arms for the first time and feeling so torn. She was so small, so fragile, so perfect. I’d saved her...
My mother had been gone, void of a heartbeat. Her chest didn’t rise and fall anymore. I waited minutes, trying to get her heart to restart, trying to force her to breathe, and she wouldn’t. I had no choice. But as I held her in my arms, something seemed right.
She was this beautiful little human who had never known pain or suffering. I couldn’t help but smile at her or the way my heart was so full, even while it broke. I’d lost my favorite person that day, the woman who loved me more than she did herself, yet I’d gained someone that I could love unconditionally. I’d gained a partner in this cruel world who looked at me like I was her hero. Smee is... She was everything, and I know calling the crocodile was her way of trying to save me. She thought I was in danger.
Yet, I can’t help but remember the hurt in her eyes when we were in the wardroom. I couldn’t tell her what she wanted to hear, but I couldn’t lie to her either. At the time, I wasn’t sure how I’d choose if I was forced to pick between saving Smee or Scarlet. I don’t think I’d ever have been able to hurt her. It wasn’t until I stood on that ship, knowing I’d have to face that choice, that I knew what to do. Even though Smee’s betrayal stung, I couldn’t choose. I love them both more than anything. It’s why I stepped off that ship.
I’m not sure if it was for me or them... Regardless, Smee could’ve burned the realm to the ground, and I’d still never be able to look past my love for her, to bring myself to take her from this world.
I just hope this is the right choice... That it’s what she’d want.
Scarlet gasps, and I meet her stare, glued to something behind me. I follow it, being careful to keep my hand on the rune. Figures take shape. Ghosts almost… Their outlines hold a bright blue hue. The edges of the shapes define, revealing Nelvin and Smee, hand in hand, and my heart cracks wide open.
Smee pauses as they step toward the portal, her translucent eyes meeting mine as she smiles big. My body trembles as I bite back a sob. So filled with joy, knowing they’re together, but hating that it means we’ll be apart. I do the best I can to smile at her. Nelvin smirks, winking at me as if he has to poke my buttons one last time.
I snort out a laugh, wiping at the tears. Lorian clutches Zephyr to his side next to us as we watch the two of them step through. To find their own peace in whatever comes next. Together. As they disappear and the mirrored surface swirls, something darts through the surface and slams into my chest before I can react.
My body is imbued in darkness as something sears into my very core. The force knocks my hand from the pillar and the portal slams shut. The silence falls around us and the burning disappears in an instant.
My shadow...It’s back.
43
Scarlet
Wechosetostayon the island for a few days. It gave Sebastian time to be with the memories of his family and the crew a chance to rest. They buried the dead and everyone’s spirits are a bit brighter now that we know Smee and Nelvin are at peace.
