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“Are you alright?” I feel his hand on my shoulder, and I stop my pursuit.
“No, I’m not alright, and asking me that is only going to make it worse.” I shrug his hand off and start walking with purpose.
“She was a witch; we’re just worried about you.”
Something in Nelvin’s comment breaks me. It shatters the last bit of control I have. The fury builds up, and I hurl the plank across the deck, watching it splinter against the mast.
“Hey! Easy,” Zephyr yells, narrowing his eyes at me from across the deck. “The only thing destroying the ship will do is strand us out here.”
“Then what am I supposed to do, Zephyr?” I snarl, my hands balling into fists.
“Talk about it.” Zephyr’s eyes soften as he steps closer, but I hold up my hands.
“I don’t want to talk about it. I want to stay busy. You should be in the med bay, anyway. That’s your job.” Every muscle in my body tenses as I struggle to control my fury. The revelation of Scarlet’s true nature feels like a knife twisting in my gut, and all I want to do is scream at the injustice of it all.
“Sebastian,” he replies, his voice firm. “I’m not leaving you like this. As your doctor and your best friend, you’re stuck with me.”
“Are the crew members in critical condition stable?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes.” His expression is unwavering.
“Alright, then you can stay and help.” It’s pointless to argue with him. I start to walk away, but I pause mid-stride, turning back to Zephyr so I can point a finger at him. “But I’m not talking about it.”
Nelvin saunters over, throwing an arm around both of our necks with a lopsided grin plastered on his face. “Ah, the joys of manual labor,” he quips, attempting to lighten the mood. “Just what the doctor ordered.”
“Cut the shit, Nelvin,” Zephyr snaps, yacking him in the sternum. Nelvin chuckles, rolling his eyes as his arms drop.
We work in tense silence for a while, each of us lost in our own thoughts. How could I have been so blind? For the first time in ages, I actually enjoy the presence of someone. Her snarky comments, her perfect lips, the way she reacts to me, the way I feel everything… I’ve never yearned for someone like this, yet she’s all I can think about. All of it, every last piece, was a fucking lie.
For all I know, the king knew it was me when I pledged. Maybe he saw through the glamour. Perhaps this was his intention, to bind me to his blood witch daughter to distract me from his merchant ship and to cloud my mind enough to unleash the bloody Crocodile on the outer realm. I just don’t know how he would’ve known I’d try to enter.
“It could be worse,” Nelvin says, limping over to pick up a piece of wood near me. His knee is wrapped and blood peaks through the white gauze. “At least she was pretty. You don’t suppose her teeth are going to fall out, do you?”
My vision turns red. I can practically feel the blood pounding in my ears. My hand shoots out as shadows coil around him, squeezing until his face reddens.
“What did you just say?” I snarl, stepping closer to look him in the eyes. He sputters, the silver rings around his pupils nearly disappearing as I back him toward the railing. “Go on then, say it a little louder so everyone can hear you.”
Nelvin’s Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. “I didn’t mean it like that, I swear.”
“Oh no no no. You see, I heard you loud and clear, but I need them to hear it too, so I don’t get chastised for killing a cripple.”
“Sebastian!” Zephyr yells, closing the distance between us. He calls for Lorian, who’s closer and his magic rushes over me, prying my shadows from Nelvin’s throat one by one.
Freed, Nelvin rubs at his neck, taking a few deep breaths as he backs away, creating a safe distance between us. “You’re lucky I love you, Hook, or I might be pissed right now,” he says, trying to regain some semblance of humor.
I narrow my eyes into slits, my chest heaving. I shouldn’t have lashed out at him. He’s just doing what he always does. Nelvin lives to get a rise out of people, and I took the bait, but it was his unique way of trying to get me to work through. I know that.
“Get back to work,” I growl, turning my attention back to the shattered remains of our ship’s deck.
As I pick up another piece of debris, my mind wanders back to Scarlet. The thought of her alone in that room… I can feel every ounce of heartbreak and it kills me not to be able to go to her, to kiss it away and make her forget. Since taking that damn oath, I’ve lived for the moments that she smiles and laughs because it’s such a foreign thing to me… The way my heart swells when she looks at me.
“Damn it,” I mutter under my breath, hating myself for feeling this way. But as much as I wish I could ignore it, the truth remains: no matter how furious I am or how many lies she’s told, some part of me still cares and I don’t think that’ll ever go away. As long as our bond remains intact, as long as she breathes…
I’m in the midst of cleaning up the wreckage her kind made on this ship, that took over thirty lives today. I need perspective, to remember not who she is, but what she is and never forget it.
I clench my fists, determined to push those thoughts aside and focus on the task at hand. There will be time to sort through my emotions later. For now, all I can do is keep moving forward, one step at a time.
Just as I’m about to pick up part of the railing, heat surges through my middle, catching me off guard. It nearly brings me to my knees. I stumble, catching my balance on the mast, and brace myself with one hand.
