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“You don’t understand what it’s like to have my soul tethered to hers,” I snap, my hands clenching into fists at my sides. “I feel everything she does, whether I want to or not. I’m starting to care about her, and yeah, maybe I shouldn’t. If it was any other scenario, if I discovered a witch on board my ship, I’d have floated her in a heartbeat without a second thought. Scarlet nearly died tonight, doing a spell to save my life. She’s not like the others. And when I thought she was going to die, I swear my fucking heart ceased beating until she drew breath again.” My voice catches and I look away, biting back the anger that floods through my veins. “Now tell me, Smee, how the fuck am I supposed to push that girl off my ship? Even then, I don’t think she’s a blood witch. She’s marked, and that should be a done deal for me, but it isn’t. I believe her.”
Zephyr’s eyes soften and he sends me an empathetic smile, nodding once in my direction, like he’s telling me he’s proud. There’s a long pause as my words hang heavily in the air. I can feel the weight of their concern and the unspoken questions they’re all too afraid to ask.
“What are you going to do? Float me too?” I ask, looking at all of them.
Silence settles over the wardroom, heavy and suffocating. Smee finally breaks it with a resigned sigh. “I don’t know, Sebastian. Maybe someone else should make that call.”
My hands clench around the wooden tabletop, knuckles turning white with strain. I force them to relax, flexing my fingers to ease the ache. “Not going to happen.”
Smee snorts. “Why the hell not? You have four capable people right in front of you.”
“I’d rip their heart out before her feet touched the water,” I growl.
Smee looks shocked for a moment, then shakes her head, her voice surprisingly steady. “Then I’ll do it. You won’t kill me,” say says, crossing her arms. I glance at her, concern etched across my face. “You’d kill me? Your sister? All to save a witch?”
I don’t say anything, but when I turn my gaze away from her, it’s all the answer she needs.
“Shit... He’s in love with her,” Nelvin mumbles, standing up to pace in a tight circle.
“I’m not in love with her,” I snap.
“Can he even be truly in love with someone with only half a soul?” Lorian furrows his brow.
“Well, he’s in love with her, by my definition.” Zephyr leans back in his chair with a casual air.
“Then that’s your definition.” I don’t bother to hide the irritation in my voice. I don’t know what I want or what I am. All I know is she can’t die.
Smee whispers, “What do we do then? If she’s used magic somehow to get in your head...”
I shake my head, running a hand through my hair. “I don’t think she’s capable of that.”
“Me either,” Zephyr agrees, nodding solemnly.
“She’s marked as a blood witch. It’s reason enough,” Smee grits.
I fidget, restless, and frustrated. I don’t even want to be having this conversation and it’s gone on long enough. The longer I’m here, the more opportunity someone has to try something, and I doubt Zephyr’s assistant is capable of stopping it. The boy is a twig that can walk.
The others exchange glances, their silent conversation clear as day. I can practically see the worry etched into their faces.
“Are you sure? How can we trust that you’re in your right mind, then? How do we know if you’ll do what’s best for this ship?”
If my own sister is questioning that, then more are. Zephyr was right... The crew isn’t going to believe me. If I don’t do something, they’ll mutiny and we don’t have the men to lose.
I open my mouth to speak, but Zephyr cuts me off.
“You’re not going to...? About the...?” He clears his throat, and I give a curt nod, confirming his suspicion. “Fuck. Okay, you are.” Zephyr scratches one of his horns. The room goes silent, all eyes on me, waiting for my decision. I square my shoulders and take a deep breath.
“I think... I should step down as captain until we figure this out. You’re right. I can’t put the crew first when they’re at odds with someone I care about. So, until we figure this out...” With a heavy heart, I grab the captain’s hat from the wall and hand it to Smee. “It’s all you.” She starts to reach for it, but I pull it back a smidge. “Just let me make one thing clear. You’re not floating my wife, unless I say you can. If you’re willing to make that deal with me, then it’s yours.”
Smee takes the tricorn hat, running her fingers over it, then looks up at me with wide eyes. “You don’t have to do this. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve dreamed of being captain of this ship. But this isn’t how I wanted it.”
I let out a humorless chuckle, the weight of my decision pressing down on me. “It’s not a handout, Smee. You deserve it. I’m still getting used to having emotions again and until I can get a grip on that, I won’t be able to think straight. Add all the things with Scarlet...” I trail off, watching her play with the textured velvet. “Look, it’s temporary, and I’m keeping my room, but until I can soundly say I’m mentally fit for it, I should step down.”
Smee glances at the others, searching their faces for answers or maybe acceptance that they’re on board with what I’m doing. “What about spells or our potion stash? Is there anything we could use to keep her out of his head?”
I grit my teeth, hating what she’s implying. Scarlet isn’t purposely messing with me. She feels like a normal being and we’re in this position because I don’t.
“I’m with Hook and Zephyr on this one. I don’t think it’s her magic he needs to be worried about. This has to do with his inability to control himself.” Nelvin’s grin slices his face and I already know that whatever is about to leave his mouth can’t be good for me. Especially given the awful mental image I just got of the pants-less version of him in the hallway.
