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"Maybe we can see them next!" Damien suggests enthusiastically, and I nod, grateful for the distraction.
"All right, let's go see those elephants!" I declare, taking Carmen's hand and leading the way, determined to enjoy the rest of our day together… without being interrupted by thoughts of Roland.
After our adventurous day, we return to the hotel suite, and I order room service for dinner. Carmen's eyes grow heavy as she picks at her food, clearly exhausted from our outing (and possibly full from some snacks). Damien, on the other hand, seems reinvigorated, chatting animatedly about the animals we saw.
"OK, little lady, time for bed," I say gently to Carmen, scooping her up in my arms. She doesn't protest, snuggling against me as I carry her to her bedroom. After tucking her in and sharing a bedtime story, I kiss her forehead and head back to the living area.
“Damien, you need to study now, then you’ll have some time to watch a movie. But get those textbooks out.”
"Promise, Maddie," he replies with a smile as he finishes off the last pieces of food on his plate.
I walk into my room, roll out my yoga mat and begin a series of stretches, feeling both my body and mind unwind. After finishing my practice, I settle down at the dining table, cracking open my laptop to catch up on my Columbia business coursework.
"All right, just one more chapter," I mumble to myself, determined to stay on top of my studies despite this trip, though it has been tempting to forget all my normal routines so if only for a little while. It’s not like I’m not excited about my studies, but it’s a lot of work.
Time flies by, and soon I hear Damien knocking on my door. “I’m going to go to bed now. I’ll probably fall asleep watching the movie so you might want to come get the iPad from me,” he says with a grin.
“All right, I’ll save you from sleeping on top of it! But download the movie first and turn on airplane mode in case I forget. Don’t want you scrambling your brain.”
“Yes, Maddie,” Damien says with a sigh, tired of me ranting on about radiation. I always force him to speak on loudspeaker.
“Sleep well, buddy,” I call out as he shuffles off to join Carmen in their room.
Not long after, I hear the door to the suite click open, and I walk into the living room as Roland steps inside, his face etched with anguish. My heart clenches at the sight of him–I've never seen him look so defeated.
"Roland, what's wrong?" I ask, my voice tinged with concern.
"Sit down, Maddie," he says, his tone heavy. I comply, nervously wringing my hands as I wait for him to speak.
"Brett and Sofia…" he starts, taking a deep breath, "They've been sleeping together for the last six months."
I gasp, shocked by this revelation. Brett is his best friend and he’s sleeping with a woman who has made his life miserable.
"Roland, I'm so sorry," I whisper, reaching out to take his hand in mine, offering what little comfort I can.
Roland's jaw clenches, his beard accentuating the firm lines of his face. He takes a deep breath and meets my eyes with determination.
"Listen, Maddie," he says in a low, serious tone, "We need to be extra cautious now. We must keep our relationship a secret–at all costs."
I nod, understanding the gravity of the situation. The weight of it all settles on my chest like a heavy stone. I can't help but feel somewhat responsible for the mess we're in. After all, if it weren't for me, Roland wouldn't have to worry about hiding us from the world.
Roland paces back and forth, his brow furrowed as he thinks. "Brett's betrayal makes me question everyone around me," he admits, frustration seeping through his voice. "It feels like everything is so uncertain, so fragile... just like how my mother used to be. I mean, one minute things are one way, the next another. I wouldn’t have cared if Brett just slept with her, we’ve been over for years and I knew they remained casual friends, but now there’s a custody battle. Brett told me Sofia wanted custody before the papers came. He knew. And I don’t know what else he knows."
My heart aches for him, knowing how much he's been through. But I also see the strength within him–the fierce determination to protect his family. It's one of the reasons I fell for him in the first place.
"Roland," I say softly, "I'm here for you, no matter what happens. You don't have to face this alone."
He stops pacing and looks at me, his dark eyes softening. "I know, Maddie. Thank you, but we have to call off everything. I don’t know. Maybe Brett is listening at doors? I have no idea what’s going on and he was too drunk for me to get anything cogent out of him. I bet he won’t even remember our conversation tomorrow, but who knows? He could be spying on me and while I’m a grown man who should be allowed to date whoever the hell I choose. But things can be twisted in court. I just can’t risk that. I hope you understand." He turns and abruptly walks into his bedroom, leaving me standing there stunned. I feel like someone just pierced my heart. While I understand why Roland is upset, this is not how couples deal with things. Maybe he isn’t ready for a relationship.
Left alone in the dimly lit living area, I curl up on the couch, hugging a pillow close to my chest. My mind races with thoughts of our future together–or lack thereof. Will there ever come a time when we can be open about our love? Or will we forever be stuck in this limbo?
With a heavy heart, I get up and walk to my bedroom. I slide into bed, the emptiness beside me a stark reminder of what I’ve lost, though if Roland is unable to open up and love someone I assume that it’s better that I found out now rather than later.
Chapter twenty-six
Roland
The morning after Brett’s revelation I wake up at the crack of dawn and decide to go for a run. It’s too early to confront Brett (while it’d serve him right if I woke him this early) and I have an entire day full of meetings to get through, so maybe a run will help clear my head.
