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“You’re bleeding,” I whispered as I began to rise to my feet.
Kai’s hand darted out and he wrapped it tightly around my wrist as he pulled me back. A storm was brewing in his eyes as his gaze crashed against mine and he shook his head. “No.”
I stared back at him as my heart crawled into my throat. “I need to get a first aid kit to clean it up.”
“Don’t leave me,” he choked out, his voice cracking around his words. He pulled me closer to him. “Please, Winter.”
He was breaking my heart as he stared up at me with such desperation. I knew I needed to tend to his wounds, but the inside of him needed attention first. Giving in, I stepped closer to him and his legs parted as I stood between his thighs. My hand was hesitant again, careful not to hurt him as I cupped his face in my hand.
Kai’s grip around my wrist tightened momentarily and his eyelids fluttered shut before he released me. I gently brushed the pad of my thumb across his skin. He let out a soft breath as he wrapped his arms around my lower back and pulled me to him. He pressed his face against my stomach and I lightly rubbed his shoulders as I buried my other hand in his tousled hair.
We were silent as we stood in the darkness holding on to one another to stay afloat. His shoulders shook and as the cotton material of my shirt grew damp, I realized there were tears falling from his eyes. My entire soul was splitting apart and his arms tightened around me as I stroked his head.
“It’s okay, Kai. I got you,” I murmured, not knowing what the hell to do. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
He didn’t utter a single word as they weren’t needed between us. He continued to hold on to me like I was the only thing that was holding him together. I felt his shoulders sag and he relaxed against me as the tears subsided.
Abruptly, he released me and lifted his head away from me. My hands were still in his hair, but he refused to look up at me. His gaze was trained on the floor beneath our feet. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I don’t know what the fuck that was.”
“Kai, stop,” I said quietly as he placed his hands against my thighs and pushed me away from him. He quickly rose to his feet and ran a hand through his hair before gripping the back of his neck. It was as if he were embarrassed by his vulnerability. This was what Kai did. He’d fall apart in my hands and then push me away.
His bloodshot eyes met mine. “I shouldn’t have come.”
“Don’t do this, Kai,” I pleaded as I closed the distance between us and reached out for him. “Don’t you dare do this.”
“Do what, Winter?” he questioned me with a harsh bite in his tone.
“Stop pushing me away.”
Torment swirled in his irises and he was fighting an internal battle as he stared directly through me. He lifted his hands to my face. The pads of his fingers were soft as they drifted across my skin. “It’s the only thing I’m good at.”
“I’m never going anywhere, Malakai. No matter how hard you push, I will never leave you.”
His eyes searched mine. “Promise?”
“I promise.”
He slid his hand around the back of my neck as he pulled me flush against him. A gasp escaped me as my body crashed into his. His other hand was on my chin, tipping my head back as his face dropped down to mine.
“I can’t stand the thought of ever losing you, Winter.” His breath fanned across my face, faintly smelling like wintergreen mint. “You’re my home. You’re the only place I’m safe from this godforsaken world and my fucking demons.”
The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t say them. They would scare him away and that was the last thing I wanted. Malakai Barclay didn’t think he was worthy of being loved, but he was. I loved him with every fiber of my being, but the words were too heavy for him.
And he was already tired of carrying the weight of his life.
I stared up at him and I could see it in his eyes. He could feel it, even without me speaking the words. And with the way he looked at me, I knew how he felt about me. His face inched closer and my eyelids fluttered shut as his lips gently brushed against mine. Kai was tender as he stroked the sides of my face and moved his mouth against mine.
His lips were tender, yet his kiss was bruising. Kai was slipping through the cracks in my heart, nestling himself in my soul. I wrapped my arms around his back as he spun me around. He began to walk me backward until the backs of my knees were hitting the edge of my mattress. His tongue slid against mine as he carefully laid me back on the bed and climbed on top of me.
He placed his hands on either side of my head, caging me in while we momentarily broke apart. He stared down at me, his eyes filled with nothing but pain and adoration swirling together in his stormy irises.
“Fuck, Winter…” he whispered, his voice hoarse as it trailed off. His throat bobbed and he swallowed hard. “You’re everything to me. I lo—fuck—” He paused as the emotion washed over his face.
I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck and pulled his face back down to mine. “I know, Kai,” I breathed against his lips. “I know.”
His mouth crushed against mine and there was nothing gentle about the way he kissed me now. A growl rumbled in his chest and his hands were in my hair, his tongue was in my mouth. There was nothing holding him back and I would give him every piece of me he wanted.
Nothing around us mattered. The only thing that mattered to me was Kai and soothing his wounds. Comforting his soul. Silencing his demons. I was his escape from the world that was constantly ripping him to shreds.
