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“Winter, what are you doing?” my sister, Sutton, asked me from where she was standing. She was just beside the door with her dark hair pulled up into a messy bun on the top of her head. “We can’t just stand out here all day.”
My lips parted slightly, but only a harsh breath escaped me. I inhaled deeply and pushed my shoulders back as I followed her up the steps onto the front porch that wrapped around the entirety of the house. Sutton was sliding her key into the lock and I was burrowing every memory of this place back in my head.
Our parents had both retired last year and they made the decision to spend the next few years traveling. Instead of selling their seven-thousand-square-foot mansion that was nestled on a six-acre property, they wanted to pass it on to my sister and I. Sutton already had her own home and that meant I was the only one left to keep up with the estate.
I had no desire to take on such a task, but given everything our parents had done for us in life, saying no was not an option. I didn’t want to leave the life I was building in Vermont. It wasn’t much, but it was a life of my own and that was what I wanted. I wanted autonomy and to not be relying on my family’s money.
While in Vermont, I was working as a junior editor for a publishing house until I completed my master’s degree in English literature. They had a position waiting for me as soon as I finished. My graduation ceremony was two weeks ago. The weight of the piece of paper sitting in the trunk of my car that stated my credentials was crushing.
I had no choice but to turn down their offer.
Sutton snapped her fingers as she stood inside the doorway. “Winter.”
She looked like she was growing impatient with every passing second that I was simply standing here. She had a charity event she needed to attend at the country club tonight and there was no reason for her to even be here. Since she lived in beautiful Orchid City, my parents left the keys for her to give to me.
I supposed she just wanted to get a small taste of nostalgia before resuming her normal life. There was nothing bittersweet about being here and everything devastating about it.
“What’s going on with you?” Sutton questioned me as I finally followed her into the foyer. The sound of her heels on the marble floor echoed throughout the vast space. Not a single thing inside had changed and that made it hurt even more.
Everywhere I turned, everywhere I looked, all that greeted me were memories of him.
“Just tired from traveling,” I told her as I abandoned my suitcase. “Did Mom or Dad say that there was anything they wanted done with the stuff in the house?”
Sutton looked around and shook her head. “It’s all yours to do what you please with it. Since they plan on moving to the house in the Keys after they’re finally done with traveling, this is all yours now. Make sure you go see the lawyer on Monday to sign over all the paperwork.”
I stared at my sister for a moment as a rock lodged itself in my throat. “I don’t want any of this, Sutton.”
“You can’t sell it,” she said matter-of-factly. “It’s practically a family heirloom that has been passed down from one generation to the next. Find someone to pay to take care of the place if you don’t want to live here,” she told me with a shrug.
“I can’t afford to pay someone to do that,” I admitted, my voice quiet and tentative. My sister had built her own empire and now ran her own architect firm. She was the golden child of the two of us. I was the one who lived with their head in the clouds and went to college for a bullshit degree.
All I had was a piece of paper with my credentials, barely any work experience, and a laptop filled with half-finished manuscripts. It was always my dream to be a published author, yet somehow I ended up on the other side of the publishing industry.
Part of it was because I let my own fear hold me back.
The other part of it was because when I wrote, all I did was sit down and bleed all over the pages. I bled the story of us, the history of him, and it made my heart ache. Ever since that night, I had never fully recovered. I was forced to pick up the pieces and move on in life, but that didn’t mean I was ever able to repair the hole he left in my chest.
It was easier to push him away from my mind when I wasn’t surrounded by memories of him. Vermont was safe. Vermont was far enough away. He was never there, so I was able to make my own memories without him. I had tucked the thought of him away in the deepest, darkest corner of my mind.
Only now was he pushing his way back to the front.
“Have you thought about what you’re going to do for work? Surely there is some way for you to work remotely with your editing experience.”
I stared back at my sister blankly. “I would have worked remotely for the company I had a job with if it would have been possible.” I paused for a moment. “I applied for the librarian position at the local library in town.”
A small smile touched Sutton’s lips. “You and your books.”
“Sometimes fiction is better than reality.”
She stared at me for a beat as a thoughtful look slid through her green irises. Sutton knew that something had happened to me during that summer six years ago. She questioned me on it one time when we were sitting in my apartment in Vermont sipping a glass of wine. I shut her out completely after she brought up Kai. It was a part of my life that no one would ever have access to.
Her lips parted slightly and it appeared like she wanted to say something. Instead, she closed them and pursed her lips. “Well, I should probably head out so I can get ready for this event. Will you be okay here?”
A laugh escaped me and I shook my head. I didn’t know her perception or thoughts as to what happened to me. I dropped my gaze down to my hands as I absentmindedly picked at the cuticle on my thumb. “It’s not just here that I’m worried about.”
“He doesn’t live in Orchid City anymore, Winter.”
Her words struck a nerve in me. My head popped up, my gaze slicing to hers. “Good to know.”
