AllFreeNovel
Share Us
There was so much regret between us for so many different reasons.
“I’m sorry for what I said in the car. That was extremely insensitive of me.”
Kai lifted his gaze from the menu and set it down on the table as his gaze penetrated mine. “You don’t owe me an apology, darling.” There was a softness to his tone, yet his eyes were still shockingly cold. “You’re allowed to be bitter and angry with me. I would be alarmed if you weren't.”
My eyes refused to leave his. “I don’t want to be, though.”
He sighed and folded his arms on the table. “You should, Winter. I meant it when I said you should hate me.” He paused for a moment as sadness began to build its own walls inside his soul. “You always should have hated me.”
“That was a lie,” I admitted in a rush, my voice barely above a whisper. “I never truly hated you. There were moments I wished I did. It would have made things a lot easier for me.”
Kai looked at me—no, he looked through me, directly into my soul. “When will we stop lying to one another, darling?”
His words seeped into my bloodstream and I felt them everywhere. “Do you want the truth or another lie?”
“Truth.”
There was no hesitation. He sat across from me, unmoving like a perfectly sculpted statue. His eyes were on mine and there was a storm brewing deep inside the depths of his blue irises.
“Probably never.”
To that, he frowned. “I do not accept that, darling. The lying and the deception between us stops here. I don’t want you to tell me what you think I want to hear or keep things from me that you think I don’t want to hear. I want nothing but your brutal honesty, do you understand me?”
My eyes narrowed. “The same goes for you then too.”
“To be clear, I did say us, not just you.”
Kai was equally infuriating and alluring. I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. I was tethered to him by this invisible thread and regardless of the destruction between us, it refused to be severed. There was a magnetic pull I could not fight against. I was no match against Malakai Barclay.
We were both raised in affluent, influential households. Kai was highly intelligent, despite his grades from high school. He spoke with such elegance and grace, like it was a true art. He was an intellect, but no one else ever got close enough to see who he was on the inside. They took one look at him when he was younger and wrote him off as entitled and a troublemaker. He could get away with murder and never have to stand trial.
“Pardon me for not hearing that part.”
Kai challenged me with his gaze. “I think you heard me clearly, but you just chose to disregard that part.”
My lips parted and I was about to respond, just as our server finally appeared at our table. Kai ordered water for us and looked at me when she asked if either of us were ready to order our food yet. I nodded and we both told her what we wanted before she left the two of us alone again. There was tension in the silence between us as we waited for her to return with our drinks.
She quickly reappeared. As she left the glasses of water, I looked back to Kai whose lips were slightly curved downward in a frown. “This wasn’t how I imagined dinner between us going.”
My eyebrows pulled together. “What do you mean?”
“Things were supposed to be light and easy.” He paused for a moment and I watched his throat bob as he took a sip of his water. “I don’t know how to do that.”
My expression softened as his words swirled around in my brain. There was a touch of sadness and almost disappointment mixed in his voice. It sent fissures across my heart. “Kai,” I said softly as he lifted his gaze back to mine. “It’s okay, I promise.”
Kai stared at me for a moment as if he didn’t believe me. His expression was blank yet there was a wave of relief that passed through his eyes. I noted the slight sag in his shoulders as he exhaled and nodded.
There was no awkwardness between us, but the tension remained thick. A heaviness was present and it was weighing down on both of us. Things between us had always been intense, and I didn’t expect anything less. Kai had always struggled to relate to people because he was so closed off. Blame it on childhood trauma. Either way, I was always the one who made things light and in that moment, I knew that was what Kai needed from me.
“Tell me what it’s been like golfing professionally.” I paused for a moment, a small smile pulling on my lips. There was a part of me that felt regret for not following how he has been doing, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Kai fell silent for a moment, almost as if he were replaying what I asked of him before choosing a response. His lips parted and he sighed. “It’s been… a lot.” His tongue slipped between his lips as he wet them and continued. “It’s been amazing and horrible at the same time.”
I scowled just as our server brought our plates to the table. I thanked her while Kai continued to watch me. My napkin was already draped over my thighs and I left my silverware on the table as I focused on him.
“What is wrong with it?”
Kai gave me a simple shrug. “It’s just a lot of pressure and a lot of traveling.”
