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“That sounds worse than it was,” I tell her with an exasperated sigh. “It’s not like I was stalking you. I came to make sure you were okay.”
Her expression was blank. “When were you there?”
“Is that really of any importance?”
Finally, there was a flicker of emotion in her eyes again. Her eyebrows pulled together a fraction of an inch. “To me, it is.”
“The first time was about a month after you were there.” I paused for a moment as my mind drifted. “You were at skating practice when I finally found you. You were there with another girl and I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“Eden,” she said quietly as her expression softened. Her mask was falling away in fragments. “She helped me find my place in Vermont. We lived together until she started dating a hockey player named Hayden King and they got a place together.”
There was so much about her life that I never knew. I kept tabs on her always because, regardless of what would ever happen between us, she was always my main concern. Knowing she was okay brought me a sense of peace, like I had made the right decision even though I regretted it immensely.
“When was the next time?”
“I came back every year.” My throat was thick with emotion as I prepared myself for the truth I was about to unleash on her. “I wanted you to thrive, but I also didn’t. I wanted to show up and see that you didn’t belong there. That your life wasn’t what you deserved. I needed a reason to reinsert myself in your life but every time I showed up, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”
She fell silent for a moment as her eyes searched mine. “But why? All you had to do was reach out. Approach me. Anything would have been better than nothing.” She stopped as she chewed on the inside of her cheek. “You don’t know how many times I wished you would just show up but you never came. You never came for me, Malakai.”
Her words broke my heart into jagged fragments.
“I did come for you,” I assure her, my voice barely audible. “I just knew I was never what you needed.”
Winter’s eyes narrowed on mine and she shook her head. “I hate when you do that.”
“Do what?”
She gave me an incredulous look. “When you act like you aren’t deserving of anything. We agreed on no lies, correct?”
“Indeed.”
“How is this for the truth—I’ve always needed you, Malakai. You have always been exactly what I need.” A wave of sadness and sympathy passed through her eyes. “You deserve to experience the good in the world.”
I stared at her for a moment, tilting my head to the side in confusion. “How can you say these things with such conviction after what I did?”
“Because my heart has always known you. It has always known that you were it for me.”
It never made sense in my mind how someone like her could possibly feel so deeply for someone like me. I was nothing; she was everything. She was the sun in the sky, the moon and the stars. She was the entire universe and I was simply just existing in her atmosphere. I would put my entire life on the line for Winter Reign.
“Why me?”
A smile pulled on her lips as she challenged me with a fire burning in the depths of her green eyes. “Because it’s you. I never had a choice or a say in the matter. My soul knew you from the moment we first met. It’s always been you.”
Her words seeped into my bones. My heart beat erratically in my chest. The intensity between us was exhausting. We went from zero to one hundred in a matter of seconds, only to come to a full stop and switch in the opposite direction. It was maddening, yet it was like a rush to my system that no drug would ever come close to touching.
“I have one question for you.”
“Ask me,” she said with no hesitation.
“You told me there was no one else.” I spoke the words slowly and fought to keep the jealousy from my tone. “I saw you with another man in Vermont.”
Winter frowned and shook her head. “Travis. I won’t lie to you about him. We did date, but I could never bring myself to sleep with him. I tried. I tried to get over you, but it never felt right.”
A weight that I hadn’t noticed was instantly lifted from my chest. It felt like I could breathe easier, like there was a sense of relief. There was something more. A touch of anger that bubbled just beneath the surface. I couldn’t get the image and thought of her and this guy from my mind, and it wasn’t what I thought it was.
My golf career was hanging in the balance because of the way I let it affect my mental strength. All of this could have been prevented had I seen past my stubbornness and reached out to her.
I had a lot of things I would have to make up for.
