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My chest tightened painfully because I knew letting him in meant digging up my past. A past that I wanted to forget.
twenty-six
JAYDEN
"What do you want to know?"Sadie muttered, not looking up from the straw she'd been swirling around in her drink for our whole conversation, and I couldn't help but wonder if she was lost in what I'd just told her or the memories of her past.
"I searched your name on the internet," I said, her gaze flashing up, meeting mine. "A hundred different articles about you and your family popped up." A flicker of pain flashed through her eyes, and I reached out, sliding my hand into hers, wishing I could take away the pain. Part of me wanted to let the conversation die and never bring it up again, but I needed to know her side of the story. "I didn't read them because I didn't want their side of the story. I wanted yours."
She visibly swallowed like the words she was about to say physically hurt her. "Honestly," she said, her voice low. "They may be able to tell you more than I can." I narrowed my eyes. "I think I blocked a lot of it out." She dropped the fry she'd been playing with into her plate and reached up, shoving a loose strand of hair out of her face. "And most of what I do remember is fuzzy." Fuzzy? Like someone told her what happened? "I was supposed to be asleep that night, but I had crawled out of my bedroom window and was sitting on the roof between Lucy's room and mine."
"Was Lucy your sister?"
She nodded. "I was on the phone with my neighbor, and I didn't want to wake up Kayla," her voice started to tremble. I assumed Kayla was also a sister. "Kayla and I shared a room." I wanted so badly to hold her and make the pain go away. "I heard a gunshot in Lucy's room. The loud noise startled me so bad I dropped my phone off the roof."
"Did you see your dad?"
"Everything is fuzzy after that, and it went down so fast," she whispered. "I remember laying flat on my stomach and looking into Lucy's room through her window, and I saw him with the gun, but I've blocked it all out. I don't remember how many shots I heard, but I jumped off the roof and ran next door. I called 9-1-1. When the police arrived, I was with my neighbor. By the time the police made it inside, they were all dead except my mom, who told the police my dad shot her before she passed out."
"So your mom was conscious when the police arrived?"
"Yeah." I sighed. "The next few months were a blur. The police questioned me over and over again. I was in and out of the hospital with my mom, and my dad kept calling, begging me to talk to him, but I couldn't. How could he do that? He would have killed me too."
"When did you get the chance to talk to your mom?"
"Shortly after her surgery." Sadie sighed. "It was so crazy because right after the surgery, she remembered everything. Then she went to sleep and didn't remember anything when she woke up."
"So, she told you her side of the story?" She nodded. "Before or after you gave your statement?"
"I gave one before and about a hundred after." I couldn't help but wonder how different the statements were before and after.
"And the woman he was dating? When did she show up?"
Her gaze flicked around the like she was searching her memories for an answer. "I don't remember."
Something about this entire situation wasn't sitting right with me. I knew it was normal to block out trauma, but something was so off. I felt it deep in my gut. Sadie's mother remembered; I had zero doubt in my mind, but why would she come back every year to talk Sadie into lying if she knew the truth? It didn't make any sense.
I wasn't sure why, but I needed to know the whole truth, not just Sadie's fuzzy version. Maybe because I felt an overwhelming urge to protect Sadie from her mom, or perhaps it was nothing, and my protectiveness for Sadie was controlling me. Either way, I needed to know, and I knew who I needed to talk to.
"Where was your dad when the police showed up?"
"He went to sleep in the basement," her voice cracked as her eyes filled with tears. "He killed my entire family and then went to sleep." She swiped the back of her hand across her wet face attempting to wipe away a tear that escaped.
I realized that was enough for tonight.
"Come on," I sighed. "Let me take you home."
The entire ride home, Sadie stared silently out the truck window, and when we got back to her place, I walked her to her door, intending to give her space; tonight had been overwhelming for both of us.
"I'll see you after class tomorrow," I said, leaning in and kissing her forehead.
"Jayden," she whispered. I raised my eyebrows. "Will you stay with me tonight?"
"Is that what you want?" Her gaze locked on mine, and she nodded. "Yeah, I'll stay."
twenty-seven
SADIE
