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"No." She forced a smile. "I should probably go." She cleared her throat. "Thank you."
"Sadie," I stopped her. "Please stay and let me feed you." She shook her head. "Please, just food and conversation. That's it. If you want to leave after dinner, I'll take you where ever you want to go."
Sucking in a deep breath, she nodded. "I guess I owe you that much for coming to my rescue last night."
My brows furrowed as I stepped into her space, but I stopped when she recoiled, taking a step back. "Sadie, you don't owe me anything."
"I think I'll take you up on your offer for a hot shower," she interrupted me. Blowing out a heavy sigh, I nodded and stepped out of her path, watching as she disappeared from the bedroom. My heart ached at the thought of her thinking she owed me anything, but if those thoughts kept her here for a few more hours, I would let her think that for now.
It was time to come clean with Sadie about everything if she would listen. Not because I thought it would change anything but because she deserved to know the truth. She knew most of the story but didn't know why I had to marry Bella. She didn't know that it could be life or death for my family. She didn't know that if I didn't, Bri would have to. I should have been honest instead of hurting her, but I freaked out because I'd lost the one thing I'd always had with Sadie, and that was control. I lost control of my feelings, my emotions, and my heart, and I knew I was in way over my head.
This was never supposed to happen this way. I needed that control because it was the only part of my life I had power over, but the moment I fell for her was the moment I lost control. Now, I realize I didn't need it, but then, it felt like everything was spiraling. I never thought I would fall in love with anyone. I never thought walking away from her would be so painful, and I thought I could erase my feelings for her by hurting her. I was wrong about everything.
Guilt prickled at my chest as the memory of her face that day flashed forward. I would give anything to change that day. I didn't know if she'd ever forgive me, but I would settle for that if she'd give me tonight.
By the time Sadie made it downstairs from her shower, food had been delivered, and I'd set the table up for the two of us. The team house had a massive dining room with one long table that sat all of us, but in the kitchen, there was a small round table with four seats tucked into the corner.
We'd made our plates and sat across from each other, with an awkward silence filling the quiet room.
"Thank you," she said, breaking the silence. "For the food and for. Last night."
"Do you have a place to stay while your house is a crime scene?"
She moved the food around on her plate. "KJ will probably let me crash at his place if I need to."
"You can stay at my house," I said. "It would be just you and Bri. Besides, it would be good for her to have you there. I worry about her when she's alone. I don't want her to fall back into old habits."
"I'll think about it."
"Sadie," I sighed, dropping my fork into my plate, "I feel like I owe you an explanation."
"What's done is done, Jayden," she said, her gaze fixed on the food in front of her.
"Yes, and I will have to live with that for the rest of my life knowing that I hurt you, and I'm not expecting to change your mind, but I feel like I owe you an explanation."
Her lips pressed into a thin line as her gaze flicked up to meet mine. "I'm listening." Her tone was harsh as her expression hardened.
I wasn't even sure where to start, so I decided from the beginning.
"Before I was old enough to walk, my parents got themselves into a huge financial hole. I don't know the entire story, but they borrowed money from bad people. Somehow Bella's father got involved, or maybe he was the person they owed the money to; honestly, I'm not clear on those details, but they made an agreement that my father would work for him, and he would clear his debt—somewhere in that time, Bri's marriage was arranged with his oldest son Luca. As we got older, I knew there was no way I could let Bri marry Luca. Luca is a terrible person, and I realized what he would do to my sister. I knew Bella had a schoolgirl crush on me, so I offered to take Bri's place and marry Bella. Bella's dad agreed."
"You took Bri's place so she didn't have to marry Luca," Sadie repeated what I'd just said. I nodded. "To protect her." I nodded again. "What happens if you don't marry Bella?"
"If I don't marry Bella, Bri will be pulled back into the arrangement, and if she refuses…Well, I don't know how it will go down. Bella's family is very powerful, and I would say I'd probably be signing my parent's death certificate. It was always part of the deal. Bri was part of their debt repayment, and if that falls through. I don't know what will happen."
"That's a lot to put on your shoulders. Do you think Bella's father would force her to marry you if she didn't want to?"
"Bella's father is a cruel man, just like Luca. I can't say exactly what he's capable of."
"So, this goes much deeper than a simple arranged marriage," she said, and I nodded. "If you don't marry Bella and Bri refuses to marry Luca, then they will kill your family, possibly you and Bri too."
"It is a possibility."
She sucked in a deep breath before exhaling slowly. "So you pushed me away because—" she trailed off.
My heart began to race. "Because I'm in love with you, which absolutely terrified me." I swallowed past the lump forming in my throat. "I lost the only thing I had control of in my life, and I didn't know how to deal with it. I thought I had to choose between you and Bri."
"Unfortunately, you do." She smiled, her eyes softened. "And I don't blame you for choosing Bri. She's your sister, and I'm just some—"
