Page 76 of Here You Are


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“Good. I’m worried about Sam. He must’ve been frightened that night.”

“Don’t remind me. They were terrified.” Kim’s head dropped.

“Thanks for meeting me.” Charlie stood aside, allowing a couple of dog walkers to pass them at the entrance to the park. “Shall we walk?”

“If you like. It’s been ages since I’ve been down here. I used to bring Sam and Chloe when they were little.”

The scratch of the gravel beneath their footsteps filled the silence. Charlie ran through the script she’d prepared in her head in the early hours. Tossing and turning, she’d almost woken Elda with her restlessness. It hadn’t helped one bit. She still struggled to find the words.

“Did you want to talk through the police report or something?” Kim glanced at her. “It’s not like you to invite me out for the afternoon. You’re usually up to your eyes at work.”

“I know. I’ve got a couple of weeks off. Sorry, you must be curious about what I needed to speak to you about.” Charlie kicked her boot against the path. “The truth is, I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while about…” She wasn’t sure how to describe their relationship. The last few weeks had catapulted Charlie to Kim’s go-to person. “About our friendship. I need to reset some expectations.”

“Charlie, I know what you’re going to say.” Kim held her hands up. “I’ve thought about it too. I’ve relied too hard on you, and I can’t come begging for any more money.”

The harsh sunshine caught Kim’s cheek, highlighting the lines between her eyebrows and at her lips. It made Charlie think of how flawless Theresa’s skin was as a teenager. She stopped herself. It was her constant comparison of the two women that pulled Kim closer to her every time she tried to break away.

Charlie looked to the heavens for a beat, taking in the wide expanse of the blue sky above her. The world was so open to them all. Anything was possible if they allowed it.

“Am I right then?” Kim asked, drawing her back down to earth.

“Sort of. Although I wouldn’t have put it as bluntly as that.” Charlie touched Kim’s arm, craving her understanding. “This last couple of weeks have been horrible for you and the children. I don’t want you to think I’ve abandoned you if you need my help again. I will be there for you. But before the chaos with Darren, I wanted to redraw the boundaries between us. The only way I can do that is by being completely honest with you about how I’m feeling.”

“Go on. I’m listening.” Kim stopped walking. “Don’t worry about offending me if that’s on your mind. I’ve got pretty thick skin, even if it does bruise easily.”

Charlie grimaced, recalling the inky, yellow stains on Kim’s body after Darren was done with her. She pointed to a bench, and they strolled across to sit down. “This is so hard. I don’t want to push you away when you need me most.” Charlie closed her eyes against building tears.

Kim mirrored her angst. “You’ve done enough for me, Charlie. I’ve leaned on you when I really shouldn’t have. If I’m being honest with myself, I liked having you close because you’re the only living reminder that Theresa was ever happy in the world. That she ever breathed, and laughed, and loved someone. You were hers, and I wanted to have you around. It’s selfish of me. You’re just a child yourself.”

“I’d never thought of it like that.” Charlie picked at her thumbnail. “It’s not how I see it. I was the one who needed you in my life. When you found me, you were the first person who ever believed how much I loved Theresa. I hadn’t ever told anyone else. So, don’t think you’ve done me any harm. Being with you has helped me grieve.”

“Ditto.”

Charlie swallowed back a lump of fear. “I still want to see you. I want to see the children.”

“Of course. They think the world of you.”

“But you can’t turn up at work.”

“No. That was a one-off mistake. I know that.”

“And if you need me in the middle of the night, you need to call first.”

“I’ll try not to. Darren’s out of my hair, and I just want a quiet life for me and the kids. They’re too important to me.” Kim blew out her cheeks. “I won’t be asking for money either. Now that he’s not pissing it up the wall, I can manage. I promise.”

“You don’t need to make promises to me. Make them to yourself.”

“Good thinking. You always did have the brains.” Kim winked, lightening the despair between them. “You’ve got your own life to be getting on with too, haven’t you? You and Elda?”

“Yeah. We’re going to make a go of it.” Charlie hesitated. “I love her, you know? It’s a strange feeling to move on, after all this time. From someone who was so significant but so fleeting.”

“She was only here a short time, but she made it count. Theresa would want this for you. Don’t ever doubt that.” Kim squeezed her hand. “I want it for you. You deserve everything that makes you happy.”

“Thank you. You mean the world to me, too, you know?”

“I know. Your actions speak louder than your words, Charlotte Mason. You’ve always been there for us.” Kim planted a kiss on her cheek and brushed away her teardrops.

Charlie rested her head against Kim’s shoulder, finding instant comfort and relief.

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