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“I want to be the flower girl!” Khloe exclaimed.
I imagined how beautiful she would look with a puffy white dress on, and pink flowers in her wavy hair. She wouldn’t be one of those kids who was too shy to walk down the aisle on her own. My mind then wandered to imagine Chase in a perfectly-tailored tux, his hair flawlessly coiffed, and smiling his brilliant smile. I wondered what the girl who got to marry Chase Brooks would be like; I wondered if I would like her; I wondered if Khloe would like her; I wondered if he and I would remain friends. Shelly’s question suddenly entered my mind: What happens if he gets a girlfriend? What will you feel like then?
“You ok?” Chase asked when our pancakes arrived.
I nodded and smiled, trying to push the thoughts out of my head.
Khloe jumped from topic to topic while shoving forkfuls of pancakes into her overly stuffed mouth. I loved conversations with her. They were so genuine. She held nothing back – kids never have filters. They spew from the brain, always saying exactly what they think. Sometimes I wished I could do the same. She talked until she passed out in the back seat of Chase’s car on the ride home.
I snuck a peek at her over my shoulder.
“You sure you’re okay?” Chase asked in a low voice.
“Yeah. Why do you keep asking?”
“You just seem… far away. Does it have anything to do with why you were crying with Shelly yesterday?”
I rested my head back on the seat. “I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.”
“You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow. Finally getting your sling off. How do you feel?”
“Relieved. It’s finally over. No more depending on people to do everything for me.”
“It hasn’t been that terrible, has it?”
I looked at him with a confused expression. “My sling?”
“I mean, I know you hate depending on people to do things for you. But it hasn’t been that bad, with me driving you around and helping you out. Right?”
I turned in my seat to face him. “It has not been bad at all. You have helped me in more ways than I can count. I appreciate you so much.”
He pulled into his driveway and turned the engine off. “I’ve been wondering if you won’t want me around anymore.”
“Why would you even think that?”
He shrugged. “You won’t need me.”
“Chase, I don’t hang around you because I need you to help me. I enjoy your company. I like spending time with you. You think I hang out with you because I have to? Have you thought this the entire time?” I searched his eyes for an answer while I waited for his response.
“I don’t really know what to think… you’re not exactly forthcoming with your thoughts and feelings. You keep everything locked up inside like a castle.”
I laughed.
“And now you’re laughing at me…”
“No, no. I’m not laughing at you! Shelly told me something yesterday, and it reminded me of what you just said.”
“Oh, yeah? What was that?”
“She told me that I’m a warrior. She called me Xena.”
He grinned. “The warrior princess. You totally are.”
“I know I’m difficult. I know I keep my feelings to myself. But all my life, I’ve been on my own. I take care of myself, and I don’t let people in because it’s easier. I don’t know how to be any other way.”
“Things are going to get better for you.”
“And how do you know this?”
