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I took a deep breath. “Uh… well… he was sick.”
“Like my dad?”
“He didn’t have cancer. He was a different kind of sick.”
“Chase told me that your dad was sick in his brain.”
I nodded in agreement. “He was.”
“What happened to him when he died?”
“Pancakes are ready for pouring! Now, be very careful not to touch this pan. It will get very hot.”
“Can I help you flip them?”
“Of course.” I poured the first pancake onto the pan, and handed her the spatula. “We have to wait until we see little bubbles popping on the pancake. That’s how we know it’s time to flip it over.”
“Do you feel pain when you die?”
“I don’t think so. I don’t think you even realize you’re dying. I think it just happens. Like you’re falling asleep.”
“Mommy said you almost died. In your car accident.”
I nodded. “But someone saved me and brought me to the hospital.”
“We brought daddy to the hospital. But nobody saved him.”
I touched her rosy cheek. “Sometimes when you have cancer, you can’t be saved.”
“Look! The bubbles are popping! Let’s flip it over!”
I blinked back the tears that had welled up into my eyes. I guided the spatula while Khloe flipped the pancake onto the other side, squealing in delight.
“I did it!”
“Great job, babe! Want to set the table for us?”
She nodded. “You let me do all the cool grown-up stuff. That’s why I love you so much.”
I smiled and hugged her tightly before setting her down on the floor. “I love you so much. Here are the plates. Forks are in this drawer. Napkins are on the table.”
I poured the next pancakes onto the pan, and pulled my phone out of my back pocket. No new text messages. I sighed, and set it on the counter.
When we sat down to eat, there was a knock at the front door. We both jumped up to see who it was.
“Tanner!” Khloe jumped into his arms. “We made pancakes! Do you want some?”
My heart sank.
“Nah. I’m not hungry.”
“Are you guys all back?” I asked.
“Yeah. Mom said to come get Khloe.” His eyes did not look at me when he spoke.
“We were just about to eat. I can bring her over when she’s done, if that’s okay?”
“Sure.” He set Khloe down in front of me. “See you soon, squirt.”
