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In the doorway to the kitchen, Chase’s bloodshot eyes met with mine. I held my finger to my lips to prevent him from saying anything. I wanted to run to him, but Beverly needed to let it out, and I would not let go of her until she loosened her hold on me first. He surveyed the grocery bags scattered on the floor before making his way into the dining room.
After several minutes, Beverly released me and took a step back. She wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands, and proceeded to put the remaining groceries away. I handed her a paper towel, and she quickly blew her nose.
“Let’s go have a bite to eat before we get started,” she quietly suggested.
I nodded. My stomach was in a giant knot as I approached the table in the dining room and took the chair next to Chase.
“Thanks for bringing all of this,” he muttered without looking at me.
“Are you having a slice?” I asked, motioning to his empty plate.
He shook his head. “Not hungry.”
“Chase, you haven’t eaten anything since dinner last night. You need to eat something,” Beverly said, trying to mask the worry in her voice.
“I’ll eat when I feel hungry.” He stood. Without saying another word, he walked out of the room.
I listened to his slow footsteps on the stairs, and the closing of his bedroom door. I tried to ignore the fact that Tanner, Khloe, and Beverly were all looking at me with the same expression.
“He’s just tired,” Beverly tried.
“This isn’t something he can just sleep off,” Tanner snapped. “Dad’s gone, and the sooner he comes to terms with that, the better off he’ll be.” He pushed his chair back from the table and took his plate into the living room.
“Chase doesn’t know that daddy died?” Khloe asked, looking confused.
“He does, baby. He’s just very sad about it.” Beverly ran her fingers through her hair. “Why don’t you go upstairs, Merritt? See if he’ll talk to you. Maybe you can get him to eat something.”
I nodded. “I’ll try. We can get the phone calls started when I come back down.”
She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “Thank you, Merritt.”
“Can I come with you?” Khloe asked, jumping up from her seat when I stood.
“Let her go alone. Why don’t we go ask Tanner to put a movie on?”
“I hope we can watch Moana!” Khloe took her mother’s hand as she led her into the living room. “Daddy loved watching Moana.”
My heart wrenched with every reminder Khloe made. Upstairs, I stood outside Chase’s bedroom door, hesitant to knock. I took a deep breath. “Chase, it’s me. Can I come in?”
“Doors open.” His voice was muffled.
I closed the door behind me as I entered the darkened room. I stepped over the minefield of tissues, making my way to his bed. I slipped under the covers next to him, and wrapped my arm around his midsection, planting small kisses along the back of his neck. His body remained still.
“We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”
“Good,” he mumbled. “I have nothing to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything. I just want to lie here with you.”
He exhaled, and I felt his body finally relax. His breathing soon became steady. I laid there, nuzzled against his broad back, trying to pour all of my strength into him while he slept. After some time had passed, I backed out of the bed. Quietly, I picked up all of the tissues that were strewn about the floor, and tiptoed into the hallway.
Tanner appeared at the top of the stairs, on his way to his own bedroom. He looked down at the pile of used tissues in my arms.
“Gross.”
I rolled my eyes. “Your mother doesn’t need to hear your shit, and neither does Khloe. So you two need to man up, quick.” I pushed past him to get to the bathroom and dumped the tissues into the garbage before heading downstairs. I didn’t look back to see his reaction.
Beverly was sitting at the dining room table, an opened address book in front of her. She stared at it, with her hands in her lap.
