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Grant’s arms fall to his sides as he blinks and says nothing.
“Where is the man who slammed Neil against his car for making me trip? That man wouldn’t have let one of his friends make a move on me.” I step into his space and jab his chest with my index finger. “You slow danced with me on your porch.” I poke his chest again. “You told me I’m beautiful.” Another poke. “You kissed me, and we shared an intimate moment together—and I don’t do that with just anybody, by the way.” I plant my hands on my hips. “I thought it was more than that. I thought you liked me, Grant. And when Jason came to my door, I felt stupid because if you liked me, then you wouldn’t have sent someone over to my house to hit on me. But I guess I’m the only one who’s feeling something here, and that makes me feel stupid too.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat. “So, I pretended to have a headache these last few days because I’m mad at you, and apparently when I’m mad at people, I isolate myself until the anger dies down, and then I don’t bother to say anything. But I’m here right now saying something, feeling really vulnerable, because maybe there’s a chance you do like me. Maybe I’m not crazy. Maybe I didn’t misread all the signals. Maybe you’re just too scared to make a move, so here I am making one.”
He lifts his hand to rub the back of his neck. “I figured you’d go for a guy like Jason. He’s a good kid, and he’s around your age.”
My head jerks back. “What does his age have to do with anything?”
“You’re thirteen years younger than me, Elena. You belong with someone like him. You can get married and have a family of your own.” He clenches his jaw and gestures to himself. “You don’t want this.”
A family of my own.
Tears sting the backs of my eyes.
Don’t cry, Len. Stay strong.
“You don’t get to tell me what I want or who I belong with. That’s not your call to make. Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you know better—clearly, because you’re thirteen years older than me, yet your head is still up your ass.” I bite my bottom lip to keep it from trembling. “I know it’s been a while since you’ve had a woman around, and I know you’re used to your simple life with Noah. But I was hoping…I guess I was hoping you’d be able to make a little room for me. I love that kid, and I’d never do anything to hurt her. Even if you and I stopped talking for whatever reason, I’d still be there for her. You don’t have to worry about that, if that’s what’s holding you back.”
“Ialwayshave to worry about that.” His voice rises. “Noah is all I worry about. Night and day, it’s her. I don’t have time to waste with someone who will turn around in a year or two and leave because I can't give her the things she wants.”
“You didn’t even ask me what I want.” I reach out and clasp his hand. “Because if you did, I’d tell you that I want you. You and Noah. Package deal. We can take things slow, whatever you need. You can’t let fear get in the way of your heart.”
He looks down at our laced fingers with his jaw set and his eyebrows pinched.
He’s overthinking this like he does with everything. He’s trying to make logic out of emotion.
Come on, big guy. Give me something here.
But he pulls back his hand. “You don’t understand because you don’t have kids of your own, but you will one day, and it’ll all make sense to you. You’ll understand why I’m doing this.”
He might as well have pulled a dagger out and stabbed me with it. I actually think it would’ve hurt less than the words he chose.
A lone tear slips out and rolls down my cheek. I can barely form the words because it feels as if all the air has been sucked out of my lungs. “I’ll never be able to have kids of my own. But you wouldn’t know that because you haven’t bothered to have a conversation with me about it.”
His eyes narrow. “What?”
“Doesn’t matter though, does it? You’ll just keep coming up with reasons why we shouldn’t be together and assume you know everything.” I turn around and march down the porch steps, feeling like a zombie. “Tell Noah we’ll move tutoring to my house. Give me ten minutes, and then you can send her over.”
“Elena, wait.”
More tears fall as I make my way across the street, ignoring Grant as he calls my name.
“Please, Elena.” He catches my wrist when I reach my porch. “Don’t go. Talk to me.”
“Talk to you?” I spin around to face him. “Nowyou want to talk?”
“I didn’t know—”
“You didn’t ask.”
“I didn’t think—”
“No, you assumed you knew me, and you disregarded me and my feelings.” I yank my arm out of his grip. “And I won’t be with someone who treats me like that.”
I walk inside my house, close the door in his face, and then I collapse onto the floor and cry.
“I’m goingto ask you a question, and I don’t want you to lie to me.”
