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Noah will always be loved.
Another tear drops down my cheek. “Let’s take her home.”
Grant
When Noah’smad at me, she locks herself in her room. When she’s sad though…she curls up in my bed with Romeo.
That’s exactly what she does when we get home from Houlihan’s.
Elena and I slip into bed on either side of her with Romeo resting his head on Noah’s leg. We lie there, holding on to her in the silence for a while.
To my surprise, Noah is the first one to speak.
“You didn’t tell me the truth about her because you knew she didn’t want me.”
My chest aches. “I don’t think she’s in her right mind, Noah. Addicts can’t think like we do. The drugs alter their brain chemistry. I went to the first ultrasound with her and noticed the scars from old track marks on her arm. When I brought it up to her, she swore she’d stay clean during the pregnancy, and as far as I knew, she did. She was clean when I met her, so I didn’t have a reason to believe otherwise. But after she gave birth to you, she fell right back into old patterns and her drug use got worse. Only, I didn’t know it.
“I went to pick you up from her apartment one day, and I could hear you crying from inside. She wouldn’t let me in, so I broke down the door to get to you. There were empty pill bottles everywhere, and she was clinging to life on the floor. I called an ambulance, and on the way to the hospital, she flat-lined but they were able to revive her. If I’d gotten to her a few seconds later, she would’ve been dead.”
I blow out a shaky breath through my lips. “I couldn’t leave you with her again, Noah. If something would’ve happened to you, I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself, knowing what I knew about your mother. I convinced her to sign away her rights to you the next morning.”
A tear slides down Noah’s face and falls onto the pillow. “Why did she even bother having me? That seems like an awful lot of work for nine months just to give me up at the end of it.”
“Whatever the reason, I’m so glad she did because I have you.” I lean down and press my lips against her hair. “I know I can’t be your mother, but all I’ve ever wanted was to be the best father I could for you. And I hope that’s enough.”
Noah sniffles, and her hand wraps around mine. “Youarethe best father.”
Emotion squeezes my throat. “You’re not mad at me anymore?”
She shakes her head. “No more lies, Dad. I want you to be open with me from now on.”
“No more lies. I promise.”
And I mean it. Noah is growing up, as much as it kills me to admit, and she deserves to be treated like the young woman she is.
Noah glances over her shoulder at Elena. “Thank you for everything.”
Elena chews on the inside of her cheek as sadness tugs on her features. “I just wish she would’ve been better for you.”
“It hurts knowing that the woman who brought me into this world doesn’t care enough to want me in her life. But I’ve been doing a lot of thinking…” Noah threads her fingers through Elena’s. “You’ve been more of a mom to me than Tara ever was, and that’s what I want to focus on. A complete stranger—who I stole from the first day we met—has my back and loves me.”
Tears pour down Elena’s face. “Always, Noah.”
I let my own tears fall too. Because for the first time since Noah was born, I’m not worried about whether she has enough love or enough family. I’m not worried about the decisions I’ve made or what kind of person she’s going to grow up to be.
Noah has everything she needs to live a happy, fulfilled life right here in this bed.
And so do I.
Noah falls asleep soon after our talk, so Elena and I tiptoe out of the room to let her get some rest.
My mother sets a cup of tea in front of Elena when we step into the kitchen. “It’s so wonderful to meet you, Elena. I’m Grant’s mother.”
“It’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. Harper.”
“Call me Janine. Thank you for taking care of my granddaughter.”
“And thank you for letting her stay with you last night and for what you did today.” I rest my hand on her shoulder. “Thank you for everything.”
