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“All right.” I glance at the clock. “I’ll get started on peeling the potatoes. We leave in an hour.”
Noah tosses her book onto the mattress and flings off the comforter. “Operation: Get Elena Backis officially underway!”
“This place smells funny.”
I elbow my daughter in her ribs. “Lower your voice. Don’t be disrespectful.”
“Sorry.” She shifts the cooler from one hand to the other. “There. One-forty-six.”
“Hold on, kid.” I step in front of Noah. “We have to knock. We can’t just barge into the woman’s room.”
I peer through the few inches of space between the open door. Elena is sitting in a chair with her back to me, facing her mother's bed, watching her as she sleeps.
I wince from the pang in my heart.
Thisis her Christmas.
Noah cranes her neck to see over my shoulder. “You did good, Dad. She’s going to be so happy to see us.”
I sure hope so.
I tap my knuckles against the door, and Noah walks into the room ahead of me.
Elena’s head whips around, her eyebrows pulling down in confusion as she stands. Her eyes flick from Noah to me and to the bags we’re carrying.
Then she covers her face with her hands, and her shoulders begin to shake.
Noah drops the cooler and rushes over to her, wrapping her arms around her midsection. “It's okay, Len. We’re here.”
Emotion strangles my throat. When did my little girl transform into this empathetic, caring, aware young adult?
“What are you doing here?” Elena sniffles and pulls back, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands. “It’s Christmas.”
“We brought Christmas to you. It was Dad’s idea, actually.”
Elena’s eyes meet mine, and I take a step forward. “Wasn’t sure what kind of day your mother would be having, and I didn’t want you to be alone.”
Elena gestures to the bed. “Today’s a bad day. She didn’t recognize me when I walked in this morning, and she gave the nurse such a hard time. I hate seeing her like this.”
Without hesitation, I engulf her in my arms, pressing my palm to the back of her head.
Noah wraps her arms around the both of us and holds us tight. “We love you, Lenny. We’re your family too. We couldn’t let you spend Christmas without us.”
Family.
I guess we are. Elena has become one of Noah’s closest confidants, despite how hard I’ve worked to keep everyone at arm’s distance. And now, seeing how much love Noah has in her heart, I hate myself for keeping this from her.
I’ve had it wrong all this time.
So fuckingwrong.
Isolating myself has isolated my daughter, and she’s missed out on people and experiences and relationships.
She’s missed out on seeing who I really am.
Who I could be.
Who I want to be.
