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Then she surprised me by saying, “I don’t want to be unhappy, Nero. I’m only thirty-two, and the thought of being unhappy for the rest of my life sounds exhausting.”
“What would make you happy?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
She let out a broken laugh. “I don’t even know anymore.”
“Baby…” I sighed.
“Two weeks ago, my job was all the happiness that I needed,” she went on. “There’d been nothing missing from my life. The long hours, the tough cases, the demanding clients…God, it’d all been like my drug. Even the cases that I’ve lost hadn’t ruined the experience for me.” Kasen leaned back against the desk. “I’d had it all, Nero.” Her hazel eyes were open and honest. “I’d felt free. Even being Renzo Milano’s daughter, I had still felt free.”
“And now?”
“Now? Now I’m married to a man that I hardly know,” she answered. “Now I have a bodyguard following me wherever I go. Now, insteadof just defending criminals, I have become one. Hell, I’m a goddamnmurderernow.” She let out another broken laugh. “I have Mob bosses wanting to meet me, everyone at work wary of my last name, my mother hates me more than usual, and I still can’t get that picture of you and that woman on our wedding night out of my head, because I don’t know you well enough to know what love means for you.” My wife shook her head slowly. “If you had asked me that question a week ago, I would have answered a divorce. Now? I don’t know. I don’t know, and do you want to know why I don’t know?”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t know how I feel aboutyou,”she said.
I pulled my hands out of my pockets as I walked towards her. “I think that you do,” I countered. “I think that youdo, and that’s what’s bothering you so much.”
“Maybe it’s just good sex,” she posed, arching a brow.
“Maybe you’re in denial because you’re terrified to trust me,” I countered.
“Maybe you haven’t earned that trust,” she shot back.
“I slaughtered an entire bloodline for you,” I reminded her. “I’ve earned it, baby.”
“Nero?”
“Yeah,il mio cuore?”
“I can workthrough almost anything, except cheating,” she said, making her one demand. “If you can’t give me that, then I can’t give you anything more than my body.”
I stopped when I was standing right in front of her. “You’re out of your fucking mind if you think that I can love you the way that I do, want you the way that I do, be obsessed with you the way that I am, and still want other women.” I crowded her, my hands on her hips. “No one has ever been able to capture me the way that you have, and I will go to my grave knowingonly youfrom now on, Kasen.”
“I mean it, Nero,” she said, still scared to believe me. “I will leave you, and if that means you killing me, then so be it. I waswilling to die for my beliefs once already, I have no problem walking away from you if I feel like I need to. Like you said, you can’t put a price on being able to live with yourself, and I’m too good to be another disrespected Mafia wife.”
“Baby, if I ever touch another woman, I will hand you the gun myself, and you can kill me with it,” I vowed. “I give you my fucking word, because that’s how sure I am of how much I fucking love you.”
Kasen let outa deep breath. “It feels like it’s too much, Nero.”
“Baby, it’ll never be enough,” I told her, meaning every fucking word.
Chapter 40
Kasen~
In a perfect world, Nero would kiss me right now and everything would turn out happily ever after. However, we didn’t live in a perfect world, and my life still felt like a chaotic mess. If it wasn’t enough that I still needed to process Emil kidnapping me, Ryan’s death, and Declan O’Brien, now I needed to figure out how to navigate this new development between me and my sister. Though I was happy about it, change didn’t happen overnight, and because of her own personal issues, I couldn’t see my mother being happy about me and Fia reconciling.
Then there was Nero’s confession that I still had to work through. While what he’d done had been incredibly wrong and had cost a man his life, the idea that Nero Sartori had wanted me bad enough to orchestrate sucha thing felt…surreal. Knowing that my father would never have gone back on his word to let me live my life as I’d wanted, Nero had devised a plan to make it happen anyway.
I stared up at him as he professed his love for me, and that was another thing thatfelt unreal. With the way that Nero carried himself, with everything that he represented, and with the way that he took control of my body, it sounded weird to hear him say the words so easily. I always imagined that he’d be the type of guy that wouldn’t feel the need to say it. Granted, I had also come into this marriage believing that this had been a business arrangement, so what did I know?
When Nero’s hands gripped my hips to plant me on top of the desk, I already knew what was coming. It was like taking me over my desk was a kink for him. Maybe it was his way of taking ownership of how he had allowed me to keep my job. Whatever the reason, I couldn’t deny how hot the move was. It was inherently sexy when a man sat you on top of something, then forced your legs open by stepping in between your thighs. At least,Ithought that it was sexy. In fact, sexy enough to make me lose all common sense most of the time.
“You can’t control me with sex,” I said, repeating the lie from earlier.
“We both know that’s a lie,il mio cuore,”he chuckled darkly as his hands reached up to start unbuttoning my blouse. “The only time that you’re compliant is when I have my dick buried deep in your pussy, and if that’s the only way that I can get you to quit fucking fighting with me, then I’m going to be stretching your cunt out every fucking chance I get.”
