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“Well, there was this one time I was called by dispatch for officer assistance. They had a man masturbating at the local Wal-Mart on one of those benches that sits by the checkout lanes. He was just doing it right out in the open for everyone to see. Anyway, the first cop to get on scene was a rookie cop who’d never been on a solo call before. Of course, he picked that one up. So, he goes about trying to persuade the man to stop, but there’s such a crowd around him that he really can’t do much of anything besides talk to the man.” Trance started.
He picked up his beer, took a sip, and set it down before continuing.
“Anyway, he called for backup, and two seasoned beat cops show up. Of course, the same thing happens. The guy’s still stroking his meat in front of God and country while the three cops try, calmly, to tell him to stop. They can’t really do much about it, because the guy was high on meth, and they know he’s going to have to be brought in. Then the show started when the rookie lost the quarter toss and was forced to actually put the guy in handcuffs. As soon as the rookie touched the guy, he fucking flipped. Switch thrown, I’m saying. One second he’s calm and just slowly stroking, and the next he goes fuckin’ wild and starts attacking the cops and the crowd. Let’s not forget that he’s still working his cock.” Trance laughed.
The men around me were all laughing their asses off, Kettle’s top half was bent over the table as he wiped tears from his eyes, and Sebastian and Loki were leaning against each other laughing full throttle.
The scene made me so fuckin’ happy I could scream.
These men had a soft spot in my heart a mile wide.
“So they call me. By the time I showed up, there were twelve officers on scene all trying their best to stop the guy, but none were brave enough to get close to the man because the fucker’s still jacking off, more furiously than before. They’d tased him numerous times, and he shrugged it off like the goddamn Hulk. So my old K-9 partner, Elixir, and I walk inside the Wal-Mart and follow the crowd to find the fucker scrapping with the rookie cop while a few of the other cops are standing back videotaping it. At one point, the man that was high on meth got the upper hand and straddled the cop, aiming his dick right at the rookie cops’ face. Needless to say, I let Elixir go to do his job and the meth head still wouldn’t fucking stop jacking it. It did hold him still long enough for us to get some restraints on him and shit. They shoved him in the back of the rookie’s police car where the meth addict proceeds to use the fucking seat to finally get off. Then he goes to fuckin’ sleep. Like it never even happened.”
“That’s...” I said shaking my head. “Crazy!”
“I used to live in Vegas. It’s a big city. Lots of crazy shit going on.” Trance nodded.
“So you’re telling me he fought them off single handedly?” Sebastian wheezed.
Trance nodded solemnly making the entire table erupt in laughter.
I shook my head and then looked at Kettle. “What about you?”
He wasn’t able to answer before his name was bellowed from the other end of the table.
“Kettle!” Porter yelled. “It’s time”
Porter was holding up a black case in the air that resembled the shape of an instrument and shaking it wildly.
“Hey, careful with that!” He said standing abruptly and walking quickly to Porter.
“Oh, yeah. Get ready for a show!” Baylee said, as she rubbed her hands together vigorously.
“What’s going on?” I asked, as I moved the baby until she was propped up on my shoulder with her little baby bottom in my hand.
“You’ll see,” she said cryptically.
Kettle, Porter, and another man I’d seen, but didn’t know right off hand, took a seat in the very corner of the room and started tuning their individual instruments.
Porter pulled out a worn and battered acoustic guitar, the other guy, who I’d finally placed as Torren, pulled out a harmonica type device that was connected to some sort of cord or something. Then there was Kettle, who’d pulled out a gleaming wooden fiddle that was beautiful.
“Are they going to play Christmas carols?” I asked
Sebastian, who was on the other side of Baylee, heard my comment and snorted. “Do they look like they’re going to play Christmas carols? They’d all have to be really, really drunk to do that. Kettle doesn’t normally play too often, either, so they wouldn’t piss him off by asking him to play carols. He’d never play again, and it’s an awesome thing to witness; it’s best not to piss him off just in case.”
I stayed silent as I watched Kettle check his instrument, and then his bow. He ran his fingers over the strings, testing the long fibers of hair.
“Can I have ice cream now?” Johnny, Sebastian’s four-year-old son, asked from across the table.
All our eyes went to the plate in front of him, noticing for the first time it was empty of the carrots that Baylee had put on his plate when they’d started dinner.
He’d been complaining for nearly an hour now about ‘hating carrots’ because they were ‘rabbit food’ and he was a ‘human fucking being.’ When he’d asked for ice cream, Sebastian had flat out told him no, he sure as hell wasn’t getting any ‘fucking ice cream’ until he finished his ‘goddamned carrots.’
I’d winced right along with Baylee at the curse words coming out of Sebastian’s mouth knowing Johnny would turn around and repeat each and every word at a later date in time. Most likely when they were around other people that would be highly offended by a four year old cursing.
Sebastian leaned forward and looked at his plate. “Let me see your hands.”
Johnny lifted up his hands and showed his father they were empty.
