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That, and the fact his mom accosted me a few days before we broke up and more or less told me to be the bigger person and end things with Taylor so I didn’t hold him back.
His career took off with the Nashville Saints, and he was with them for four years, only going from strength to strength in his hockey career.
I haven’t followed him too much over the years, because it was just too hard, but it’s safe to say, after six years in the NHL, he is a household name now. He was transferred to his beloved Seattle Hawks last year, and the eye-watering sum the Hawk’s paid for him is a testament to how hard he’s worked over the years.
That was the last time I contacted him. I sent him a text to congratulate him and his success.
We have kept in contact over the years from time to time, with messages on birthdays, mainly, and holidays, but I haven’t seen him since the day I left our apartment when he was sleeping.
I felt like a total bitch.
It was like my entire world had collapsed when I walked out on him like that.
I shudder even now at the thought, and it still pains me.
I don’t know why I think about that now. I guess breakups do that to me.
Soon after moving to Florida I ended up acquiring a job with David Faye Insurance brokers in Miami. Maddie gave me his business card years ago when I paid her a visit, as he was a client of hers looking for a new rookie. That’s how I got my big break.
Some years later, I started dating Doug Allbright from high school. He also went to the University of Washington, majoring in economics, and moved down to Florida for a new job transfer.
He knew I was in Miami and looked me up when he moved because he didn’t know anyone else here. We met up for a drink and soon after started dating.
Four years together… and I’m sitting here alone.
We bought a place together, he even proposed… and things were good for a while, but now everything is in a shambles. We split mainly because we just grew apart… that and the fact that I wasn’t truly in love with him. I feel like an even bigger bitch admitting that.
He knew it too. Everything has been amicable so far, but now we’re in negotiations with the house, which should be a straight-forward transaction to split down the middle.
All these years later, I still think about Taylor and what could have been.
I don’t think I ever stopped loving Taylor. I tried, but it just wasn’t possible.
I think back to one of the last arguments I had with Doug, it involved Taylor.
“I know you’re still in love with him, I don’t know why you can’t just admit it.”
“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”I’d said to him, feeling annoyed.“It’s been over for years.”
“I know because every time you hear his name, or any time he comes up on the TV, this look comes over you.”
“That’s ridiculous.”I denied it. But Doug knew I still had feelings for him. I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. It was too hard going there, and it wasn’t fair to Doug.
I guess at some point I finally realized Taylor still had my heart.
I knew for a fact Taylor had moved on. Because of his status as a pro athlete, he was in the press and photos were always taken of him at events with beautiful women on his arm. It was bound to happen. Taylor James only got better looking with age. If that was even possible.
It’s been an overwhelming week for me, giving up the house that Doug and I renovated and made our own. But I can’t afford to buy him out and keep the place, so we have to sell. The thought of moving house again is a daunting task.
My phone buzzes next to me, breaking my reverie, and I glance down to see Maddie calling.
However brief it may have been to daydream about the past, nothing good awaits there.
“How are you, Em? Are you ready for the U-Haul?”
I laugh without humor, shaking my head. “Hardly, Mads, you know me.”
The movers are coming in the morning, so I know I need to get going and finish everything up tonight.
