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I feel a wince inside my chest.And it’s all because of me.
I need to hold it together.
“It has.” I nod. “I’m in town for a couple of weeks, if you want to…” I could slap my hand over my mouth, or even cut out my own deceiving tongue, but neither of these things would do me any good. I’ve just blurted out something I can’t take back.
Why the hell am I even saying that? Would he really want to meet up with me? Or worse still, suffer his rejection when he says no thanks.
His look remains fairly serious.
Maybe he does hate me after all. I don’t want him to hate me…
“That would be great,” he says, surprising me. “In fact, we’re having drinks before the after party. You girls could come and meet the guys if you want?”
Why do I feel a little giddy with excitement, but at the same time, I feel like he’s the rock star and I’m the star-studded fan. Maybe because right now, that is kinda the truth of it.
I find my bodily functions betraying me again as I nod. I sure as hell know Cindy won’t mind… any chance she has to discreetly hang around Tyler Peterson is fine by her… and Maddison, she will be beside herself, especially if she gets to see the locker room. I’m not entirely sure what Susie will think. “Sure,” I tell him. I bite my lip because I’m nervous and his eyes momentarily flick down until I release it. “I’ll go get my friends.”
“Great. I’ll see you back there, Cindy knows the way.”
I have no idea what the hell I think I’m doing. We’re standing here talking like we’re old friends, sure, because we are, but it’s almost too casual. And it’s definitely surreal.
It’s like we’re acting like there isn't that huge rift between us, even though I feel it, and I see it in his eyes.
There’s no forgetting him. There will never be any forgetting him.
Am I a complete idiot to think that seeing him wasn’t going to stir up huge emotions? Ones I had almost started to think I was over after all this time.
Shit.
I don’t know what the hell I expected to find when it came down to this. I was bound to see him or run into him at some point in my life. But I didn’t know it was going to make me feel like this, it’s almost too much.
“I’ll see you soon.” He nods and does his fancy skate backwards thing while I watch him and he watches me. I still have no idea what he’s thinking, because he’s clearly guarded, but on some level, he does seem happy to see me.
I’m transfixed, and it’s like we’re kids again and he’s teaching me how to skate at the rink near the lake… I even hear the squeals I made when he let go of me and told me to keep my eyes on him.“I won’t let you fall, Em. Just hang on to me.”
And he never did let me fall, not once.
I’m lost in my moment as he turns around and skates back over toward his team as they all make their way out of the players door.
I compose myself as quickly as I can and walk back over to my friends.
They’re all looking at me with wide eyes. A huge smile creeps over Maddie’s face.
“OHMYGOD … tell us everything!”
“He wants us to come back to have drinks,” I say in a voice that doesn’t sound like my own. “If you guys want to?”
“Want to!” Maddie jumps up and down. She still has no idea who’s name is on her jersey, or who anyone other than Taylor is, or any rules of the game, so this should be interesting.
But she’s like a kid in a candy store and seems to have loved every minute of it.
I notice I’m the only one not squealing with excitement.
“I’m in,” Cindy says very quickly, and we all now know why.
She could get backstage any time she wants, I realize that, but it’s kind of exciting for the rest of us.
“You in, Susie?”
