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I scoffed. What the fuck did it look like? “You’re up too,” I muttered, sniffing the air. “You’ve been drinking?”
“So what if I have?” he challenged, then sighed, adding in a softer tone. “It’s that, or the pills.”
I groaned, knowing all too well his dilemma. I wasn’t the only one with insomnia. The only difference was his was fucking permanent. Had he ever slept one night without knocking himself out with either booze or pills?
I gave him a once over. He was fresh enough to stay alert. More than what could be said about me. “Stay with her, there’s something I have to do.”
He caught my arm before I turned to leave, his dark eyes locking on mine, demanding answers.
“The less you know,” I said, yanking his hand off and winced as the motion jolted my bad shoulder.
“Gonna drive like that?” Johnny scowled at my appearance, and it wasn’t until then I realized I didn’t even have a shirt on. Just the goddamn bandages, a sheen of sweat and a hard-on. “What do you need so desperately?”
Something I should never consider having. Not since I took a man’s life. But my dislike and disgust were not important. Kaylie’s safety was. “A gun,” I said, and his eyes bulged. “Don’t try to stop me.”
Stop me.I silently begged him, even though I knew he wouldn’t listen. The last time I had a weapon for safety was before Julie. Before I turned into something cold and twisted. Before I became a killer. I never regretted it. But it also never made me feel what I expected out ofa life for a life.
“Of course I’m going to bloody stop you.”
I scoffed, grinning at his scowl. “Since when are you such a saint?”
He chuckled. “Far from it. But you stay here.”
I opened my mouth to complain, but he beat me to it. “You were always there to fix my shit. Let me do this.”
It took a moment too long for realization to hit. I’d get that weapon. Just not the way I planned. Fuck. Something in me clenched.
I held the gun and I didn’t hesitate.
Watching a man die, killed something in me too. It didn’t matter he was a monster.
I lifted my gaze, locking it on Johnny. He knew it too. What that kind of blind rage did to you. How revenge only left you empty inside. Dead.
“Johnny…”
A palm flat to my damp chest forced me back toward my own room. “Stay with your girl. Get a fucking shower. Take a break.”
A sharp laugh escaped my throat.A break?There was no time for that. “I can’t let you do this.”
He lifted a dark eyebrow in question. “Planning to get yourself killed?”
I shot him my bestfuck youlook but remained silent. Johnny was right. Driving required a range of motion I didn’t have. Still, I tried to talk him out of it. “You’ll be recognized.”
“I don’t give a shit, Marc. Not now. This is bigger than me.”
I couldn’t argue. He was right, but it didn’t mean I liked it.
Against my better judgment, I gave him the address, went back to the room, and locked the door.
Kaylie was still sleeping, and I hoped she’d stay that way.
Getting the bandages off while not making a fucking sound to wake her up was a struggle. Every twist, every necessary movement made me groan and wince. Eventually, I gave up. Leave the goddamn thing on. Why would I care?
My trousers fell to the floor, and I stepped out of them. As the hot spray of water fell over my sticky skin, quickly soaking the fabric I regretted not trying harder. The wet material clung to me, heavy and uncomfortable. I tried again, blindly searching for an opening in the damned thing. Crying out loud as the frustration grew unbearable, I slammed a hand into the tiles. The helplessness killed me, but all I had the power to do was slap my palm against the wall and lean against it.
A hand on my back snapped me out of my self-pity, and I pushed off the wall and spun to face…her. A shocked gasp slipped past my lips, and I struggled to think, or speak.
“Don’t,” she whispered. “It’s okay.”
