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She could hear the tension in his voice and normally she would know that was a sign to drop matters, but there was no way she’d be able to relax if she didn’t go over a few last-minute details.
‘I know you get the routines, but there are a few things that are different. I’ve written it all down, but I’m not sure if my instructions are clear so, maybe if you could read them through before you leave and then we can address any questions you might have?’
Ben nodded slowly and looked at the piece of paper. She had handwritten it originally, but then worried it might be hard to decipher, so had typed it out, at which point she decided it was probably sensible to get it laminated just in case Hope spilled anything on it. However, judging by Ben’s face, the lamination may have been a step too far.
‘I do have one question, actually.’ He placed the instruction leaflet on the side table and picked Hope up from the ground.
‘You do?’ Holly felt both relieved and terrified. If he had questions this early on, it didn’t bode well for the rest of the trip.
‘Are you going to switch off at all this week? Because Jamie is going to need to give you a sedative if not. For her sake and mine.’
Out of the corner of her eye, Holly saw the smirk twist on her mother's lips.
‘I think he has a point, darling.’
It was hard not to feel ganged up on, but before she could respond, her mother had moved forward and was squeezing her tightly.
‘I should get going and leave you to it,’ she said. ‘It doesn’t help to have a third person in here. As lovely as your home is, there’s not exactly room for all of us.’ After squeezing Holly’s hands again, she moved across and kissed Hope on the forehead. ‘And I shall see you tomorrow, my little one. Be good for your daddy, won’t you?’
‘Thank you, Wendy.’ Ben offered a slight peck to her cheek. ‘I’ll be in touch later today.’
‘There’s no rush. We’re all going to be fine, aren’t we?’
When her mother reached the doorway, she offered a final farewell, blowing Holly one last kiss. ‘Have fun, my darling. And please try to relax.’
The front door clicked closed and a moment of silence descended.
‘You’ve really made this place home.’ Ben’s gaze lingered on the mantelpiece, which was filled to bursting with photos. The frames were a hodgepodge of styles Holly had picked up at charity shops, but the photos had a very clear theme running through. There was Hope on her play mat, Hope and Holly, Hope and her grandparents, and even a photo of the three of them – Ben, Hope and Holly – on a family day out to Birdland.
That photo was the first Holly had put up when she moved in. It felt important it was there, prominently, showing Hope that the three of them were a family, even if they weren’t together in the traditional sense. She always felt strange about Ben seeing it, though.
‘So, shall we go through the checklist?’ she said, breaking the silence.
For the next fifteen minutes, she bombarded Ben with facts about Hope and her routine, all of which she was absolutely certain he knew, but he listened nonetheless. He listened when she told him about the bedtime routine that he had done himself hundreds of times. She repeated the importance of naptimes, particularly the morning nap, and also gave him strict instructions to keep the television volume on low while Hope was asleep in case she woke up. This point was definitely unnecessary, as Ben listened to the television on the lowest volume possible, so much so that Holly had always needed the subtitles on when she’d watched TV at his. Still, she needed to reinforce the point, just in case there had been a dramatic change in his habits since she had moved away.
‘Okay, that’s it from me.’ Rather than the flood of relief Holly had expected at finishing her list of do’s and don’ts, she was now even more nervous than before. After all, reciting the checklist meant she was one step closer to leaving. ‘Is there anything else we need to go over? My phone should work, and I’ll message you as soon as I’m there to check. If not, I’ll send you the number of Fin’s friend who rented the villa and the landline of the villa too, assuming it has one.’
‘Holly, it is fine. Hope and I will be absolutely fine.’ She nodded, about to double check with him which type of formula he had bought, when he spoke again. ‘Actually, there is something I’d like to ask you about. Not a question so much… yes, actually… I suppose it is a question… I think.’
He dug his hands into his pockets. Holly’s insides surged with fear. Digging his hands into his pockets was one of Ben’s nervous actions. Her throat closed shut in sudden panic. Perspiration beaded on the back of her neck. Was he going away to London? That was the first thought that struck her. He was about to tell her he had to go on a trip to London, and planned on taking Hope with him, dragging her to meetings and restaurants at all hours of the day or night. Or worse, expected her parents to look after Hope, without first asking them about it. Holly could feel her temperature rising as she fought her fury down. A tendon twitched on her jawline and she was a split second from calling the trip off when Ben spoke again.
‘I wondered if it would be okay to introduce Hope to Georgia?’
‘Georgia?’ Holly paused, the fury that had been about to burst open, suddenly cut short by this unexpected request. ‘As in, Georgia that you work with, Georgia?’
‘Yes, that Georgia.’
Holly’s eyebrows rose with a slight crease of confusion forming between them.
‘I guess. I mean, of course you can. You can introduce Hope to whichever of your colleagues or friends you want. I don’t have a problem with that.’
‘That’s the thing…’ Ben’s lips pressed tightly together as his words drifted into silence. A new sense of confusion was prickling Holly as she tried to work out why Ben would act so strangely. It wasn’t as if Georgia was some seedy character. Of the little Holly had seen of her, she seemed perfectly fine, if a little too attractive…
Ben’s eyes were trained on the ground where Hope was playing, and when he lifted his gaze, his attention went to the picture of the three of them on the mantelpiece.
When he finally looked back at Holly, his neck and face had coloured with a deep red blush.
‘The thing is, I don’t want to introduce her as a colleague,’ he said. ‘I want to introduce her as my girlfriend.’
