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‘Aren’t you checking anything in?’ Holly gestured to the small bag slung over Caroline’s shoulder.
‘No. I think it’s travelling with three kids. I never have room for any of my stuff. Besides, I’ve got a swimsuit and extra bra in my coat pocket and two extra vest tops on under this T-shirt and I filled my jean pockets with socks.’
Holly didn’t know whether to be amazed or alarmed.
Unlike Caroline, Holly had needed her entire suitcase. Between her swimsuits, flip-flops, books to read and a couple of nice outfits for the evening, she had been amazed at how much space she’d used. Still, it wasn’t like she was going to do this again for a long time and the last thing she wanted to do was regret not having a certain top or dress. She had even purchased a couple of small items too, her favourite of which was a silk sarong she’d found in a charity shop in Moreton-on-Marsh. The delicate, teal fabric was embroidered with beads and was something she’d never have considered buying normally, but she was going on a proper holiday and she was going to enjoy it, even if she did spend half the time worrying about Hope.
‘Now that Ben’s dating, have you thought about doing the same?’ Caroline said as Holly lifted her suitcase onto the conveyer belt and watched it disappear out of view. ‘You never know, maybe one of Fin’s friends will be single and good looking and, you know, super into new mums.’
Holly turned around to face her friend. This time she was the one who did the shoulder thumping.
‘Hey! What was that for?’ Caroline frowned, looking far more wounded than the soft thump warranted. ‘A holiday romance could be fun.’
Trying to choose her words carefully, Holly took a deep breath and placed her hands firmly on Caroline’s shoulders.
‘I know you and Jamie and every other person have all these wonderful intentions when you talk about me moving on. But please don’t. I’m not there. I don’t have room for it, not in my head or my heart, or my timetable. All I want is a few days where I can close my eyes, read my book or swim in the pool, and not have to worry about anybody but myself. Romance is not on my mind. Full stop. So even if one of Fin’s friends is attractive and single and absolutely perfect in every way possible, I will not be interested. Please, please tell me you understand that. I do not want a relationship.’
‘I hear what you’re saying, but…’
Considering how good her speech was, Holly expected Caroline to agree immediately, and possibly apologise for bringing the subject up, but instead, her frown tightened and her lips twisted.
‘What? What is it?’ Holly had known Caroline long enough to know this look meant she had a strong opinion she wasn’t sure she should be sharing.
‘Nothing, it’s nothing.’ Caroline waved her hand flippantly, then turned around and marched away at a pace, leaving Holly scurrying behind.
‘Just spit it out.’
‘It doesn’t matter. You don’t want to hear it.’ They were walking away from the baggage drop now, towards the security. As they reached the queue, Caroline stopped in her tracks and looked Holly square in the eye. ‘Fine. I was going to say that I can’t help wondering if you swearing off romance has something to do with… you know… the other one.’
‘The other one? Really?’ There was no point in Holly playing ignorant; she knew exactly who Caroline meant. Giles Caverty. The one-time shop saboteur with whom her relationship had dramatically transformed during her pregnancy. Giles had become a secret staple in her life during those months before Hope’s birth. They’d secretly met on their weekly food shops, where he had helped lift the heavy items in and out of the trolly and poke fun at her ever-growing bump. But it had been more than that. Giles had been there for her, emotionally, when Ben hadn’t. When Holly’s father had his heart attack, Giles had driven her to the hospital and waited to rescue her from the pouring rain. Giles, who had rushed to the hospital the moment he heard Hope had been born.
No matter how much she had tried to avoid it, Holly knew she’d probably felt more for him than she should have, given her relationship with Ben at the time. And Giles had made it abundantly clear how he felt for her. But with Hope’s arrival, she had been forced to consider her priorities and her daughter had to come first. That was who she chosen. Herself, and Hope.
As such, she hadn’t heard from Giles for nearly eight months. The last time she’d had any contact with him at all was when she received a large bouquet and a giant pink bunny rabbit for Hope, two weeks after Hope’s birth, signed with two words.
Be Happy
Only a couple of months ago, just thinking about that note made her eyes well up, but she’d put it down to hormones. Now, though, the words felt like a dull ache behind her ribs, which she tried assiduously to ignore. It was for the best. She hadn’t been in a position back then to consider starting a new relationship, particularly not with someone as flaky and untrustworthy as Giles Caverty. But that didn’t mean she didn’t miss him. She missed the ease of their conversations and the way he would speak to her even more bluntly than Jamie and Caroline combined. They were incommunicado, and that was the way it was meant to be.
But she wasn’t going to say all that to Caroline.
‘No, this doesn’t have anything to do with Giles, or the fact that Ben is seeing Georgia, or any other man, woman or creature in the universe.’ She glowered at Caroline with all the force she could muster. ‘This is to do with the fact that I am perfectly fine on my own. I like my life exactly as it is. I have Hope. We have our beautiful, tiny family and I don’t need or want anybody else to come in and mess up the good thing we have going. So before you start sussing out which of Fin’s friends are single, can we just keep that in mind?’
It wasn’t often that Holly managed to silence Caroline. In fact, she couldn’t think of a single time it had happened since her return to the Cotswolds. And yet for a split second, Caroline remained utterly mute.
‘I guess that’s me told.’ She slipped off her coat and put it on a tray to roll through the scanner. ‘So I assume that means I shouldn’t mention that this friend of Fin’s who’s sorted out the villa is single? And apparently exceptionally eligible?’
Holly shook her head. Sometimes she wondered how she could both love and want to throttle her friend so much at the same time.
‘You can mention it all you want. It doesn’t mean that I care.’
‘Fine. Then I won’t mention it again.’
Holly hummed to herself. Not for one second did she think it was true.
They waited their turn to pass through the scanners. For Holly, it was a chance to people-watch. There were all sorts. Young couples. Old, solo travellers. And several lone parents with a toddler in tow. She looked on at these with a sense of awe. Some days, even taking Hope as far as Cheltenham was a mission, and she couldn’t even walk yet. The thought of getting on a plane and travelling to an entirely unknown country with her caused Holly’s stomach to twist into knots. Thankfully or not, it wasn’t something she’d have to worry about soon. Not with their current financial situation.
The pair were just on the other side of the scanners, stuffing their belongings hurriedly back into their bags, when their phones pinged simultaneously. As Holly was still trying to cram a clear plastic bag of toiletries into a pocket – it had previously fitted in perfectly – Caroline was the one that read the message aloud.
