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I blink, and the towel releases, falling around my calves behind me. Her eyes stay on mine, and I groan when her mouth parts, and her breathing slows. She’s turned on. I recognize it.
“What?” I ask, rounding back to her statement while also realizing I’m now naked outside for the world to see. Granted it’s dark and we’re upstairs but I don’t fucking care.
The idea that I almost ruined this has me melting at her feet, giving myself to her. Iwantto make her happy for as long as I possibly can. She’s my light.
“Whatever it is,” she hedges, “I have to know.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, but I don’t know why. Scarlett’s smart and I clearly have not concealed my pain very well.
She hooks her thumb in my mouth, her eyes hooded as she rasps, “Whatever it is, I have to know. That’s what will make me happy. Knowing. And then we can move forward, whatever it is.”
I can’t deny her anything.
I think I’d die before I’d tell her no.
She steps back. “Come on,” she says, motioning to her place. I grab my towel, heart still racing, and go to wrap it around my waist. Scarlett’s face is somber as she yanks the towel from my hand. “I’ll keep my eyes on your eyes, the way you do for me.”
She noticed.
I follow her in and lock the door, promising myself that the next time I go back to my place, she’ll be mine.
I have a lot of talking to do.
seventeen
scarlett
We’ll go slow
I hadn’t planned for Cohen to fall to my knees and hand himself to me this way. I thought I’d have to edge around hard topics and pull things from him and maybe I still will but hell, just knowing he wants this, knowing I was right about that feels so good.
The way he needs me to have control right now, it gives me so much pride. I’m so happy to be able to do something for him for a change. He’s always filling my cup, one way or another, and returning it feels so good.
I will gladly take control, and show him he’s worth belonging to someone. Inside the apartment, I lock the door, taking my time as I replay his shattered tone and messy words.I don’t know what I can give you but I’m selfish and I want you anyway.
He doesn’t know what he can give me? It makes my head spin, and it breaks my heart a little, too. He already gives me so much, I can’t believe he isn’t aware of that.
And the celibacy. A lump tightens in my stomach as I remember the curve of him pressed against me in our embrace, the sight of his soft cock pressed to his thigh in his sweats. His shirt kissing the disciplined curves of his body. His arms overhead at work, bearing strength and skill.
He’s so incredibly beautiful and sexy. Hell, if someone pointed out Cohen to me at Crave, I would have assumed he’s an actor, too.
Celibate. Forfouryears.
I want to tear into that and explore every morsel, but I know we have to move slowly. I feared moving slowly would push him away, and now I see that he needs it as much as I do.
Maybe our traumas share no common ground, but our pain and the fallout clearly does. We’re wounded. Trying to heal while cautiously… falling in love.
“We’ll go slow,” I tell him as I lead us to the brand new couch that we picked out together, that awkward night.
I sit but he stands, and I pat the spot next to me.
“I’m wet, this is your new couch, I’d prefer to just kneel at your feet,” he says while he seeks permission in my gaze. Above my collarbone, my pulse hammers, excited and nervous.
I nod my permission, but know he needs to hear it, the same way I’d need to hear red to know to stop. “You can kneel.”
It’s work to keep my eyes on his, but I manage. “I want you to know, at any time, you can put the towel on or go across the hall and get dressed.”
He drops his chin to his chest with a nod.
